We have a big gap between our two kids, 4.5 years. I copped a lot of grief from people about that and still get the occasional comment. I remember all of the 'its cruel for him not to have a playmate' and 'I would never have a big gap like that '. Really it isn't anyone's business except you and your DH. Not having another doesn't mean you live your DD any less.

I can relate to a lot of your reasons. I had PND and have very little support outside of DH and this had a lot to do with our big gap. Our DD has been very challenging to say the least and we are getting through it because we planned her and wanted her. I don't think I would've made it through if I hadn't wanted her.

I think you have to follow your heart for what you want to do. And don't feel guilty! Some people just can't help but be mean or justify their own existence.