As others have said, it depends on the person. I can get on very well with my MiL and would hate her to think that because she's the paternal grandmother she doesn't get a look-in. Unfortunately, she favours her granddaughter - she always wanted a girl. Having said that, she doesn't do much with Niece and Nephew because SiL is a bit funny with her and MiL doesn't put herself out. SiL has her mum nearby too. FiL dotes on DS; his favourite is the eldest boy. So that's BiL and Liebs is the eldest grandson, so him too. My Mum dotes on Liebling too, but ignores me when I tell her things. Or overrides me. Or makes me out to be the "bad guy", always saying no. Dad just ignores Liebling.

SO - FiL does a lot with Liebling: we live near PiL. We live further away from my mum, but visit about 4 times a year. For a weekend or a month. Depending on my mother's behaviour, she may be allowed DS on her own. MiL sees DS every week when FiL picks him up to have a playdate and she does get involved. My Dad... if DS doesn't want to watch a train DVD with him, he ignores him.

When I'm a Granny I intend to ring up and ask if I can pop round and see my grandchild(ren). Stuff the fact I'm not DiL's mother. I'm still Granny. I will ask if I can babysit - and I hope I will take no for an answer! I'll give advice too. I know DS: his child is part of him and maybe things DS liked/did will play out in his child(ren). I'll put myself out as much as I can - and intend to have playdates as soon as DiL lets me!

When I have questions, I ask Mum, MiL and my Granny (paternal grandmother) - if I can. Sometimes just one or two of them, and not always my mum. They all have ideas and thoughts, often useful stuff. Why only consult my mother? A lot of the "advice" she tried to force on us was dangerously outdated and against every instinct in my body.