LovemyKids, I'm hearing you. My MIL acutally said to me whilst I was pregnant with DS1 that it is different when it is you daughters children. I was gobsmacked. I then made a huge effort to include her in DS1's life, invited her on shopping trips with us for photos, probably did more with her than my own mother trying to make sure she felt included in his life and just cos I was the DIL didn't mean she couldnt' spend time with her grandchild

SIL and I fell pregnant at the same time, was only 4 weeks between due dates, we both had boys about 2 weeks apart. My DS2 has pretty much been left out since the day he was born. My DS1 is still very much spoilt as he is the first grandchild but DS2 doesn't get much attention or gifts at all. I was quite hurt by MIL as I felt I went to great effort to include her and the minute SIL had her child my children and I were left out, they would go shopping together all the time and not once think to invite me. I would see/here all about the things that MIL bought for her child when should would never think of mine. I really found them to be quite rude.

Sometimes I think that I'm being petty, but I honestly wouldn't care if they didn't buy them a thing I would just prefer that they give them their time. My parents live over 2 hours away so they don't see them on a regular basis. Everything I suggest for MIL to do with my kids, e.g take them to the park, to the movies etc she turns around and does with DIL's kids.

Must say I have now reached a point of not going out of my way for her to see them, I just get hurt on behalf of my kids so I figure she can make the effort now and I have noticed that the boys are not nearly as close to her as the were a couple of years ago. Which is sad for them because she could have had a beautiful relationship with them had she put in a bit of effort.