We have the same problem here. My 2 DS's are my exH and if anything should happen to me and DF then exH would expect to take them back but then we are left with our 3 younger DD's. DF has spoken about his sister taking them but I don't want the family split up. DF and I have spoken about exH taking all of them but haven't asked him yet. He probably would and he does get along well with them and his wife is great with the girls but we still feel funny asking something like this. The only problem is there really is no one else we can ask without breaking up the family.