Help.. what do I do.. please?? preparing for the future..

[*Efjay*]

Im confused by the religious aspect of this situation. Im not religious but it does sound like you do need to seek some spiritual advise from your church to help you better understand the aspects of the bible that are keeping you in this relationship.

How do you feel DH will take to counseling? From your post he doesn't sound very supportive so I wonder how much luck you will have getting him to attend?

I would also focus on a smaller time frame. A year is a long time to foruc on counseling. I would look at a 2 or 3 month period of getting him to attend at least once or twice a week. If at the end of that 3 months he isn't attending then I would walk. If he is, great, readjust your time frame & goals.

Good luck! I think you will need it

[~Raven~]

can I prevent the courts accessing my medical records? (because they are an inaccurate portrayal of me and tell none of my side of the story)..

No you can't. Medical records can be subpoenaed for the courts.

I know that in a complex case involving someone I'm close with, the records were used when deciding who should have custody of the children. Claims made by the parent during Dr visits over the course of a year were taken into consideration when deciding visitation arrangements.

Were you ever alone with your Dr or did he accompany you? Sorry if I'm not understanding you properly but you say he convinced the hospital that you were a loser (which I'm sure you're not ), but was is there any records of visits without him there at all? Maybe you should start counselling on your own now to build up some new and more recent evidence of your state of mind.

[tinkerbelle]

Hi everyone,
Its been a while since I checked in here, life gets so busy doesn't it?!? Anyway, I just wanted to say thankyou all so much for all your little tidbits of advice. I have taken it all on board. I am now going to a counsellor and got some things on record anyway, which should help if I need it in the future. I might look at retrieving my medical files soon and have a bit of a read.. Thanks everyone!

[diannescruffy]

So sorry you are going through this, the ladies have given some great advice. Does your DH acknowledge his abusive behaviour and want to change? if not counselling wont help him, he has to want to change. You have to do what's best for yourself and your son, God does not want to see you suffering. Sending you lots of strength.

Regards,
Dianne

[tinkerbelle]

Thanks Dianne, yeh unfortunately my husband thinks that counselling is just only going to be effective for changing me so that I start to think like him. I am hoping some sessions might at least give him some insight into his need to make some changes too.

So sorry you are going through this, the ladies have given some great advice. Does your DH acknowledge his abusive behaviour and want to change? if not counselling wont help him, he has to want to change. You have to do what's best for yourself and your son, God does not want to see you suffering. Sending you lots of strength.

Regards,
Dianne

[surprised]

At least him thinking that way will mean he's willing to come along to 'change you'. Hopefully the counsellor can gently and professionally help him see what he is like! Good luck hun