my three monkeys, I have donated most of my baby stuff as DS grew out of it. All of our baby clothes and furniture is gone. All I have left is the porta cot, high chair (not suitable for under 6mths) and stroller (also not suitable for under 6mths). That's it. I haven't kept any of his clothes and donated all of DD's that I had stored. So that doesn't seem to be any kind of indication for me, lol!

I still have the desire to have another baby. But I don't know if it's just that, the desire to have a baby or to actually add to our family and have another child, kwim?? My son is almost 16mths old now, and I was ready to give birth to DS by the time DD was 16mths. DS was an unplanned pg too(well, we planned on having another, but not so soon after DD), so I didn't really get the chance to kind of decide to have him. I didn't go through the 'when should we ttc again' stuff before I had him. So I don't know if this is how I would have felt then, or if it's just normal 'Im not having anymore children' kind of mourning or something.

Just me, I am lucky in that I have had quite healthy pg's (but that won't guarentee another healthy pg!). But I don't especially enjoy being pg. Though with another pg I would make more of an effort to ensure I did because it would definately be my last. But I am overweight now. I haven't lost much weight from having DS. And I am fairly unfit and my core muscles are unstable making my back a bit of a problem in pg. I only put on about 9kgs but I have probably only lost about 4of that. Then as well as that I have about 25-30kgs I could lose to be a healthy weight (but realistically it would be 20kg). I have no other health issues to worry about though.

I do worry about having 2 kids and working and being pg. It was tough with one, let alone two. But we could possibly have some changes coming our way that may mean I can be a SAHM again. But that might not be for a few months maybe up to 6mths. I don't know if I want to wait that long. If I weren't pg by that time I would probably not want to continue TTC. I don't really want more than 2 1/2yrs between the kids. I know it's not a long time, but....I don't know!

Parenting is another thing too. I really struggled with having both DD and DS. Now things are ok, but until DS was about 9mths I found life really tough with them. But I am also suffering with depression. I am managing it, but it's only recently I have gotten mostly on top of it.

I can see DH points too. I see his side of things. He grew up without much money in his family. His dad was unable to work due to injury and his mum was his carer so didn't work in the paid workforce either. They rarely had luxuries and DH feels he missed out on alot. He doesn't want that for our family. But he and his three brothers are lovely people. I hope my DS would grow into such a man. They are all loyal, loving, intelligent, caring people. Money isn't everything...but it is important. I would like to live a relatively comfortable life. So would DH. I want to provide my children with things they want to have like sports programs and music lessons if that's what they like. Having three to do those things would be exxy!

If we had another baby, we would need to get all the baby stuff again. Clothes, furniture....all of it. Probably a new car, new house. We only life in a 2 br unit at the mo, so definately a new house. But that would be one of the changes I mentioned. The opportunity to move with DH's work and we would get a house to live in.

DH doesn't want another baby. But I think if we really sat down and talked it through again, he would probably be open to another one. He is very supportive and a great daddy. He wants to get a vasectomy. But I don't want him to before we really talk and sort through this. But I need to think about it and decide if I want to do it for the right reasons....

Wow, what alot of waffle!!

Arrrgggh, I'm soo confused!!!