How did you decide on the number of kids you have?

[surprised]

Not sure if this is the right spot so feel free to move....

For those who have been fortunate enough to actually be able to make the decision (as opposed to circumstances dictating it), how did you decide when to stop having babies?

I have 2 kids and part of me would love more, but part of me thinks I could never do pregnancy and breastfeeding again, not to mention the toll on my body (and the lack of sleep!).

Do you think you ever feel 'finished'? Do you still see newborns and tiny clothes and wish for another one?

Did you go back for another and regret it (although I'm sure you totally love them - you know what I mean)?

Did you stop and wish you'd had that extra one?

Trying to decide whether to get rid of the baby things....

[~Hestia~]

When I had DS2 last year I desperately wanted a third for aaaages. DH was happy with two as we had previously agreed. Then maybe 4 months later I was holding a friends newborn and realised that I didn't have that yearning, as beautiful as she was I didn't want one, this was a first for me as I'm always the clucky one! I still feel the same now and my baby has just turned one. DH was always set on two children so don't know what we would've done if I hadn't changed my mind.

[Astrolady]

I have always wanted a heap of kids. I remember once my mums next door neighbour said "I could picture Kathryn with a soccer team of boys" I stopped after the 2nd boy because I had a rough birth and I didn't want to do it again. I then fell pregnant. So I stopped after our 3rd boy due to financial reasons, and now that he is 6 I could never go through the baby stage again as much as I love that newborn cry LOL.

[Rowellen]

We agreed on two pre-marriage. DH never budged from that number. After DS I was tossing up the idea of whether to have 2 or 3. Then we started to TTC DD. It was just too emotionally draining and we weren't even LTTTC (It took 7 months). I settled on just 2. We are perfectly happy with that decision. DH had the snip when DD was about 4mo. I can honestly say, I don't feel the slightest bit clucky. I spent Friday afternoon in the company of three little newbies. The eldest was about 3mo. I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than look at the littlest ones. I held the 3mo for a few minutes & just felt so awkward, like I was going to break her lol! I've been getting rid of the baby things as soon as DD outgrows them. I have a big box of stuff to either sell or giveaway in the new year as well as several nappy boxes full of clothes DD has outgrown. I've already got rid of all the 0000's, 000's & 00's, the bumbo, jolly jumper and various other baby things. I don't regret it in the slightest. As much as I love my bub's, I've never particularly been maternal in that way. Babies just aren't really my thing ITMS.

[LuluHB]

Now that I have my third I feel incredibly content and done. After my second I thought I never wanted another child, but it was a different feeling to what I have now. That feeling was more a "oh please don't make me go through that again", whereas now its that I can't imagine my family any way other than how it is ITMS.

[Amity]

I always wanted five. I'm from a family of four.

I left my XH when our second was 12 months old. So circumstances dictated how many children I have.

Would I have more? It would take a pretty special man to make me have more. There is at least one man out there that I would have more babies with, in the right circumstances. Otherwise, no.

[FabFiona]

My body made the decision for me. I always had 3 kids in my mind for some reason. But I'm not very good at being pregnant. Hyperemius Gravadarium and then high blood pressure / pre-eclampsia meant my pregnancies are pretty horrible. I couldn't do that again.

I also think having two so close together (18 months difference) has changed my mind. My youngest is now 18 months and I can't see myself caring for a baby again. I found having two babies very, very challenging. I see my boys playing together now and I know that I'm done.

[Lenny]

I always wanted 3, Dh always said 2. The circumstances surrounding #2's entrance to the world were hard on me and i questioned if i could ever do that again, but there was something missing and and knew i wanted to have another one.
We now have no embryos left in storage and this seemed to put an end to TTC for us. I still wish for another one, however DH has fully and completely moved on from that stage and it would be a huge hurdle in our relationship if i were to insist on TTC again.

It's a slow process for me. I haven't yet lost the feeling of wanting more children. I don't believe you ever regret the ones you have - just the ones you don't.

[RainbowRiver]

XDH and I decided we would have 4, but then I miscarried #4. Things went bad and it all ended in divorce. I was content with 3. I then met my DF and knew I'd never have anymore kids due to male infertility. That obviously isn't the case as we are expecting our first, even if it's not bio his. He has said there's a want for more, but I'm feeling good with the idea of my 4th being my last baby

[bellany]

I always wanted heaps of kids after coming fRom a large family myself.
After two close in age, the second with special needs I swore off anymore kids.
Then met hubby and he wanted one of his own... so I gave in and did it for him. He was an amazing help compared to my ex and combined with an easy baby I was set on having more again lol hubby was happy with what we had.
So we decided after many discussions to have one more. Turns out someone had other plans and the twins make 2 more.
I imagine I will feel very done after these bubs

[Artechim]

I always wanted more than one and after my second was born I was happy to just have the two of them. They weren't good sleepers and I didn't want to extend my years of non-sleep. We decided to have a third when that second line appeared. But she has fit in beautifully and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I really don't think I have it in me to do the baby thing again and three kids is very busy. I am looking forward to the next stage now and the things you can do with bigger children.

[Mildez]

I always wanted 4 and now have 3. I'm not sure if I'll have a 4th due to finances and the fact I dont get pregnant easily, DH isn't as helpful as I wish he was, family circumstances (my sister lost her little boy and I know it would hurt her terrible for me to have another baby) and the fact I'm of to uni again got another 18months and have a new job. I just don't know. I don't have the finished feeling although no great desire to get pregnant just now (although it can hurt when others do) unfortunately my fertility issues get worse with age so time probably isn't on my side. I'm undecided a BFP would bring us a lot of joy but I don't have that desperate desire like I have in the past. After my last birth I also am scared to do it again but not so much I wouldn't. I also am isolated from the hospital as I'm on s property and that scares me if something went wrong I'm an hr away

[sangie]

I always wanted more than one, I thought we would have 2 or 3. After my second was born I felt like that was enough for me (and luckily DH felt the same). I thought I would get clucky again but I can honestly say that I haven't (even though I've had two nieces arrive since DS and lots of friends have had babies too). Now I can't imagine going back to the baby stage! We are really enjoying having slightly bigger kids and I don't feel any desire to mix that up with a pregnancy and another newborn. I think you just 'know' when you are done and if you have any doubts then you probably aren't done!!

[Three Graces]

When I was pregnant with my first, we went on a holiday and were talking about 'how many kids do you think we'll have?' I was saying 2 as DH was saying 3. How come we never had this conversation earlier??? I couldn't fathom having 3 kids. I was working full time still and felt that 3 kids would just take forever. Anyway, when I was pregnant with DS2 (they're 18 months apart) I just knew that it wasn't my last pregnancy. I was even talking about having a third while I was still pregnant with number 2. Now that we've got 3, I feel like our little family is complete. I'm giving away some baby stuff to my SIL who is having her first. Part of me questioned whether we could keep going and both DH and I said no, that's enough for us. I just feel like i'm going to be stuck in playgroup for the next 10 years if we kept having more kids. All of my mum's group have finished and most have returned to work, so I'm feeling a little left behind, still stuck in the night wakening and settling and breastfeeding etc. I wouldn't change it for the world though and the boys just love their baby sister. It's so lovely watching them all interact and get excited when she smiles or giggles at them. I'm guess I'm lucky that my DH is really supportive and an awesome, hands on dad. I would have been really sad if he wanted to stop at 2.

[Astrid]

I went from never wanting any, do changing my mind when I was 31. When we decided to ttc, we agreed to two. After DD1 I really felt like another (despite the birth and how hard she was), so did DH, in fact he wanted heaps. Took a bit to concieve DD2, in fact we almost stopped as I was hitting my self imposed age limit.

When pregnant with DD2 I was feeling fairly complete. There were only a couple of times we toyed with the idea of a 3rd, same when DD2 was about 8 months. That died pretty quickly. I just do not feel clucky, I have no desire to hold other babies, I am just so glad to be out of the baby toddler stage. DH has had the snip. We do not even want to contemplate having another!

[Mrs P]

I'm pregnant with #2. DH has always been quite firm in wanting two. I'd probably say I'm 75% sure I would be ok with stopping at two. But I reserve judgement til this ones born! Like many BB Mums, I'm an IVF mum so having to pay so much emotionally and financially for your kids is also a big factor. Having said that, we still have four frozen embryos and so that needs to be considered too.

[krysalyss]

DH and I always said we would only have the one. DS is now 5 and at school. About a year ago I started thinking about the what ifs, and should we? But really we feel very happy and lucky with just our son and our family of three (plus the dog ) and won't be having any more.

[surprised]

Thanks so much for sharing your stories. Although, I can't say I'm any closer to a decision! :s

Heart says yes but the head says "run for the hills"!!