Oh hun, no wonder you are worried. That really is over the top, and TBH I would think that she's not going to stop there. I do think that we need to understand that grandparents will do things we don't like (like give them lollies), and that is a part of being a grandparent, but there are limits and your MIL has crossed them.

Having said that, one thing that couples really struggle with is making time to be together and looking after their relationship. So having a MIL is willing and able to look after your baby at times while you see a movie, have dinner or even DTD etc is actually a good thing. But only when you are ready and not necessarily overnight.

I think it would be a good idea to have a chat to your MIL now, before the baby arrives. You could say something like "That is so great that you have nursery set up. When the baby is able to go overnight without a breastfeed, maybe sometime after it's 1st birthday, I am sure we will very much appreciate the opportunity to have a night to ourselves while you babysit overnight. Of course that is some time off so in the meantime that room will be great for when we are here visiting, and maybe for a couple of hours during the day while we go out if you don't mind. I might feel comfortable to leave the baby for short periods after the first few months. We'll see how we go." It will make it easier if she knows where she stands now. I would ask her to get rid of the walker though - they are not at all good for babies and are dangerous. Perhaps it would be best if your DH talked to her about that one!

It sounds also like your MIL might be the sort to give you lots of advice. As hard as it is, I recommend that you are firm with her from the beginning. Let her know that you really appreciate that she cares, and she did a great job raising her own kids (whether or not it's true ), but that the recommendations have changed now and you are comfortable with the way you are doing things. Or the other line I like is "I'm glad that worked for you, I find this works better for me".

GL hun. I hope that your MIL proves us all wrong!