Motherless Mothers

**Tuesday's Child** · October 27th, 2011, 11:03 PM

Cheshire -

I've been wondering how you're doing

Alicia - Of course you're welcome here. I'm sorry for the loss of both your parents

I've also lost both of mine.

**Tuesday's Child** · November 8th, 2011, 09:53 PM

How was yesterday Cheshire? I've been thinking of you

**Khaleesi** · November 9th, 2011, 05:44 AM

I spent all morning crying, but once i got it all out i felt better.
It was hard but not as hard as i thought. You ladies were right the lead up is actually worse than the day it self.

On Sunday went spent the day at the beach & put some beautiful yellow roses in the ocean for her.

Thanks for asking TC

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · November 9th, 2011, 08:54 AM

I spent all morning crying, but once i got it all out i felt better.
It was hard but not as hard as i thought. You ladies were right the lead up is actually worse than the day it self.

On Sunday went spent the day at the beach & put some beautiful yellow roses in the ocean for her.

Thanks for asking TC

big

beautiful lady - i'm glad you got through it

**Khaleesi** · November 9th, 2011, 09:33 AM

Thanks &

x

**Tuesday's Child** · November 9th, 2011, 05:47 PM

Glad you got through it hun

**LimeSlice** · November 14th, 2011, 04:06 PM

More milestones without my mum and I am beginning to realise just how much my girls will miss out on by not having their grandmother here.

Coming up to 3 years on the 22nd December, Christmas, and Marley's 1st birthday in February.

I don't think my eldest can remember her much at all anymore, breaks my heart. She came home from kinder the other day and told me that I will "have a new mummy, mum. Sofia's mummy can be your mum, it will be ok, you can get a new mum." Love their simplistic view of the world, but it really did bring home just how finite life can be.

Hope you are all well x

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · November 14th, 2011, 07:08 PM

More milestones without my mum and I am beginning to realise just how much my girls will miss out on by not having their grandmother here.

Coming up to 3 years on the 22nd December, Christmas, and Marley's 1st birthday in February.

I don't think my eldest can remember her much at all anymore, breaks my heart. She came home from kinder the other day and told me that I will "have a new mummy, mum. Sofia's mummy can be your mum, it will be ok, you can get a new mum." Love their simplistic view of the world, but it really did bring home just how finite life can be.

Hope you are all well x

Big

hun...its such a shi**y place to be.

will be thinking of you on the 22nd Dec

**Tuesday's Child** · November 14th, 2011, 10:35 PM

LS

**Miss E** · November 15th, 2011, 09:52 AM

Lime.

I think I'm learning that unfortunately the whole thing of 'it gets easier' doesn't always ring true. That doesn't quite sound right, it has gotten easier in a lot of ways, but right now I feel like it's all really fresh again.

The 8th anniversary of Mum's death is this Friday. I can't believe how emotional I'm feeling right now, I don't think I've been this affected by it since the first couple of years. I'm sure it's compounded by the fact that I'm pregnant, but I don't even remember it being this bad when I was pregnant with DS.

I guess there has been a lot of stuff happen with our family this year (my step-father remarried, among other issues) that makes it all seem so final. For my Mum, I think she saw her family as her legacy and TBH we've done a **** job of maintaining that. Despite my efforts, I guess I feel like that with every year that goes by now, her mark on the world is fading more and more.

And it makes me so sad that she has never been able to spend time with DS, he's such a little man these days with such a bold personality, that her absence in his life stings more if that makes sense? And she has another grandchild who will soon make their way into the world and never have a relationship with her...

Sorry, I'm rambling. It just really hurts today. Thanks for listening.

**Tuesday's Child** · November 15th, 2011, 11:25 AM

Miss E.

I know what you mean about it not necessarily getting easier. It doesn't get better, you just become accustomed to the hole in your life.

I struggle with Christmas. Mum always made such an effort to make the day special. Her last Christmas was 1 week after diagnosis and 3 days after her first chemo treatment and she still put on the great meal she always did. It was the first Christmas MIL spent with us too, and Mum wanted it to be special for her because she'd never had a Christmas where she didn't have to pitch in (out of 7 siblings, she'd be the only one helping her own mum in the kitchen). I'm torn between wanting to honour her by continuing to make Christmas special and being angry with her for taking such good care of everyone else that she neglected her own health (Christmas is just a symbol of that).

Right now I'm struggling to cope with DD approaching terrible two's, always pushing and testing me and with pelvic girdle pain so I can't get her out of the house as much as we'd both like (and probably need). DD's birthday is in a few weeks and we have another girl due in the next 8 weeks or so. The 2 days I spent in hospital with DD, Mum visited and spent hours with DD sleeping on her chest (can't believe I didn't get any photos then!). Who's going to visit us if I stay in hospital again this time?

Mostly I just miss being able to pick up the phone for a chat.

**Beautiful Disaster** · April 2nd, 2012, 03:37 PM

Well looks like my sis and I will soon be joining you all on this vicious journey. I have no idea how to feel. The waiting sucks

I will also be fatherless so like a few of you I will have noone but my sis.