The role of Godparents?

[{sarah}]

What do you see as the role of Godparents? Not an official, forever if you die sort of thing, just the day to day role. For me, I'd like the Godparents to be involved with the child fairly regularly. Come to visit (if possible), talk to them on the phone, be interested in what's going on in their lives & ply a firly active role in their lives. Kind of like an surrogate aunty/uncle.

The reason I ask is that I'm a bit upset with Zander's godparents at the moment. They haven't seen or spoken to him since New Year's Eve. Admittedly yes they did have their son eight weeks early & he was in hospital for four weeks, but he is now two months old. We have tried several times to get them to come over & gone to visit but they are always too busy. It seems like they can manage to go visit oter people, but not us. The thing that bothers me most is that they didn't ask how Zander's first day of preschool went & haven't said anything about his birthday next Thursday. I found out from another friend this afternoon that they asked her if we were doing anything for it. Can they not call us to ask directly???

Anyway so that's my issue & I wonder if I'm expecting too much of them? Oh and this isn't a new thing since they've had the baby. They came over about once a week for six weeks just befre their wedding because Aaron & Zander were in the bridal party, but since then (May last year) we've seen them probably around eight or nine times. Zander hardly knows who they are, he hides for a while when he sees them which is what he does with strangers *sigh*

[briggsy's girl]

sarah - i think the role of the godparent has different meaning to different people - to me personally, it's very much like you. i am god parent to two of my brother's three kids - and i haven't gone more than a week without seeing them their entire lives (except when they lived in WA - and then it was a phone call every few days). having said that though, other people i know see it as an honorary title, step up for the big things, and not so much for their every day lives. my godparents have had nothing to do with me, or my parents, for most of my lives. one even told me he wasn't my godfather when i seen him one day - until i showed him the certificate he'd signed!

i hope that it's just a bit of a miscommunication between yourselves and Zanders godparents - that maybe they're unsure of not only the chaos in their lives, but how they fit in Zanders life now that things have changed. good luck in getting some answers...

FWIW - DH and i have already decided that our children will each have two sets of god parents - my bro and SIL will be godparents to all of our children - and they will have a second set of non-related god parents as well.

[BellyBelly]

My belief/understanding of them is that they are role models, someone for the children to look up to, and people who would look after them as if they were their own if something were to happen. Thats just me though.

Marisa's godfather wasn't at her Christening and has disappeared off the face of the earth! My sister is her godmother as I didn't have many trusted friends when she was born, we'd just moved into a new area after having our first baby and it was very isolating. My sister was always very loving and caring towards Marisa so it was the logical choice. It's hard!

[Shanti]

Does everybody have godparents for their babies when they are born? We wouldn't have a clue who we would trust enough to ask!! it's hard finding people these days who won't let you down.... I think you're being very fair Sarah, and I would probably feel the same way as you.

[~breeze~]

I feel the same with it should be someone who will be a part of their lives.

DH was raised to believe it has to be a practising Catholic (we were both raised RC but Godparent was obviously different in his family as to mine). He said the role is for if/when we die the child needs someone to raise them as we would as being a practising Catholic, not just mention God now & then IYKWIM. I do understand what he's saying but how many Catholics attend church every week? We do (unless I stay home with DD if she's too unsettled etc) but I think most people don't anymore... I could be wrong though. Because of this we are finding it hard to choose for our next baby. I've suggested his brother (My BIL) & his wife but he said they aren't practising Catholics & SIL isn't even Catholic at all.

I think it's more important to have someone who will be a part of the childs life, that way if something did happen to the parents the Godparents would be "family" for them, not strangers who turn up once the parents are gone IYKWIM. That was prob described badly but I'm sure you know what I mean...

We were lucky with choosing DD's Godparents as they attend church every week with us, they even sit in front of us each week haha. We got to know them & became very close. They see Brianna all the time, every birthday etc aswell & ontop of that we also have the Practising Catholic part aswell. Too bad this time round is so much harder!!

[Naomi]

Sarah, we have the same problem with all of the godparents for our boys.
We took forever choosing the right ones for each of them and we never see them, they never call to see how they are, when we get together it's because we ring them, we've just given up unfortunately.