I was not horrified. I thought "we have to be careful with the baby" "the baby is precious" and then i could quite easily see why a 5 year old sibling, having seen an adult wrapping precious or delicate things in bubble wrap, would do the same to a baby she has in the past hurt and been told constantly is delicate and must be treated with care. At EIGHT i had the urge to put my hand over the mouth of a crying baby when i was told to "go stop the baby crying" - i didn't know what to do and literally-speaking covering the baby's mouth seemed to be the initial way to stop the crying. I was not in ANY WAY trying to hurt the baby, if i'd been told "rock the baby" i would have, but "stop the baby crying" is a not very good guidance for a child...

It is entirely possible she went to wrap the baby's head to make it "safe" as no doubt she's been told many times how careful she should be with the baby. And when baby began to cry she tried to wrap tighter to stop the crying.

Does a 5 year old understand suffocation? No. Does a 5 year old understand DEATH? No. Even 5 year olds who have SEEN a parent or sibling die in front of them will ask for them for several weeks, even if it's not their first enoucounter with the concept of death. Death is forever, forever is as long as you can remember and for most 5 year olds that's about a month.

Jealousy is a major problem, especially for older kids getting their first younger sibling. It's something i will no doubt face myself. For that little girl her mum and dad were her WHOLE world and now they have another baby. How would any of us feel if our DH's/DW's got another wife/husband to come live with us!? That's the level of betrayal she is feeling right now. Of course the baby needs to be protected from harm, but her poor little heart is pretty bruised too. A little understanding goes a LONG way.

I would make your move closer and when you have her over use the time to highlight all the good things you see in her, tell her how great she CAN be. If she is naughty she will likely only hear so from her (no doubt exhausted) mum and dad, and ANY attention is good at that age. If being naughty gets her more of the attention she desperately needs, why would she try being good? SHe sounds like a very high needs kid, i have one myself and they are HARD HARD work, but they can be so much fun if they are kept connected and with their needs met.

Bx