I can understand your sister being very upset but I do think she is out of line haranging you when it was her daughters mistake. As you say, it was the middle of the night and you had not had a chance to process it properly.

I think you need to talk to her when it is a calm time and tell her how you feel. Make a lot of "I feel" statements and acknowledge that you can't handle her style of confrontation. Ask her to take that into account when you are disagreeing and remind her that you have not been close physically for a long time and it will take time to rebuild a close relationship. Her style of confrontation and your sensitivity will damage the relationship if you both don't work together. Tell her you love her and you want to be close.

Hae you had counselling to help with strategies for dealing with this type of family dynamic? Can your DP or friend provide some support?

I hope the rest of your holidays goes a lot smoother.