Dp is being great. He let me talk it out today. And yeah I have had counseling years ago, around my mother relationship. I talked to dh about perhaps seeking it (counseling) with her this time. It may be necessary, because she talks over me and can't see that even if she doesn't desire to hurt me that she can still be very hurtful. She just perceives herself as being honest. And I have a reasonably full tool kit of "I want, I feel" strategies, but thank you for the reminder. I do think I generally use them. But they often make me feel like I am communicating with her as the parent and her as the child, where I am careful with what I say and she is just totally spontaneous regardless of how anything makes me feel.