It's really hard - I was from a divorced family and it wasn't until I was older that I started calling my stepdad Dad. To all my friends etc he was my Dad and whenever I wrote in cards etc it was always Dad but I just found it hard to call him Dad. This was mainly due to a conversation I had with my older sister when I was about 6 - i remember it clear as day. She said to me that she could never call our stepdad Dad and I just answered 'me either'. In hindsight I was just a little kid who was following my big sister. My sister never got on with my 'Dad' until she turned 20 so there lays the problem for her. For me he was always my Dad (my real Dad didn't see us much or have much contact) and when I turned 18 I legally changed my name to his. I didn't tell him I was doing it I just gave him the paperwork when it arrived. My sister who is 40 recently changed her name to take his surname and faxed the paperwork to him as a suprise. He has never been so honoured. I guess what I'm trying to say is for all different reasons kids feel the need to call people in their lives mum or dad. To me my 'Dad' was the one who taught me lifes lessons, supported me and paid for my schooling and was always there for me so he is my Dad. He walked me down the aisle and is the one and only true dad I will ever have. I'm still in contact with my partenal (is that right?) dad and we get along no problems but my stepdad will always be my Dad. It's amazing how many people don't know he's my stepdad and comment on how alike I and our daughter is to him. For some people for their step children to ask to call them mum or dad is one of the happiest moments of their lives - it brings closeness and family unity however you need to really want to be called mum by your DSS for it to really mean something. There are no answers in my woffle but I hope this helps you see it from a step childs side. Goodluck.