For us, DH only wanted 2 kids. I have always really wanted 4. DH and I talked and we decided to have another after #2. But after having #3, DH didn't want more kids, very adamantly did.not.want.more! I could have had another very easily. I have struggled with it so much the past few years (DS2 is 3 now).

But there was no other option. It's not like I could have another child and just look after it myself, while he went on with the other 3, lol. We had discussions about it and it was just a thing I had to compromise on, like he compromised on having #3. I had to accept it and work on letting it go. It has only really been the last 6 ish months I have really let go of that feeling of needing to have another baby. My 4 best friends have had babies in the last year. My SIL has an 8 week old and 14 month old. There are pregnant women, breastfeeding mumma's and tiny new babies all around me! It's really tough to let go. But I am getting there.

I think I have managed to get there now that DS2 is getting bigger. Life is much easier now without a baby. We got rid of all of our baby things. Our car is too small for another person. Our house is too small for another. I really don't want to go back to work full time, so we couldn't really afford to have more (ie, bigger car/house/school expenses/other child-related expenses). We could do it, we could afford it, but we would be sacrificing a fair bit of what we want. I also have difficulty with my back in pregnancy, which would really make life hard with dealing with our bigger kids (school drop offs, and general mummy-ing stuff) if I were pg again. Plus I have had difficulty after birth with PND/anxiety, which I now feel is all behind me now.

It's a really tough decision for some people, I still toy with the idea of another baby, but know it will never happen. Other women just know, they feel like they're finished after they have their last baby, but I never have. For me it had to be a decision of the head, not the heart.