thanks for the continued responses, I really appreciate hearing each person's view. I am not sure if it is clear that this will not be my baby, it will be a donated egg and sperm from one of the couple not sure which one. In that scenario I don't think I would look at the child as mine, which is easy to say sitting here and now, but will I feel differently when I actually grow the baby, will it feel like mine?? A question that can only be considered and not a reality until I actually do it I guess.

I will get independent legal advice if it turns into a YES from us, he is a lawyer so he knows all the in's and out's of surrogacy etc, but I feel like I would need my own person to get legal advice from. My husband is certainly a HUGE part of the decision, how it impacts our life forever not just pre and post pregnancy stuff. He is amazing and staying open even though his first reaction was No way, he is just sitting with it as much as he can and I really listen to him when he raises a point. I can't measure what the impact on my children would be like, I can only look at it and ask what it might be like for them?? I grew up in a home where we had pre adoption babies for 8 weeks at a time, and it was beautiful but also when they left it was traumatic... ahhhhhhh considerations go back and forth as you can see!