I've sort of asked this before but not as specifically as I should have, hence the repetition.

I'm 38 with a four-month-old daughter. She is a delight. And all is good except that I was diagnosed with an unstable pelvis at week 28, was in pain for the rest of the pregnancy and was in a fair bit of pain for the first couple of months and am still a bit incapacitated even now. An unstable pelvis makes it painful to walk, stand or bend. Sitting down is usually fine! As I don't drive, this means I've been virtually housebound for the last four months too as I'm only allowed to go for a ten minute walk every other day. More importantly, it makes everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, breastfeeding (can't adjust bum to get comfy when holding a baby), lifting baby, washing, pretty painful.

Basically, if it wasn't for dodgy pelvis, I would have no hesitation in trying for a second one right now but if I wasn't 38 I'd leave it for a few years to let my body recover.

Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of time. And before people start putting me in the 'silly woman who left it too late to have kids' basket, my marriage broke up when I was 32, I met my current partner when I was 36, got pregnant the second month we were together, miscarried, and got pregnant again when I was 37. So I've hardly been mucking around here watching the clouds go by!!!

I know all the dangers of leaving it too late and know that if I want another one I really need to start trying very soon.

At the moment I'm concentrating on trying to get my pelvis back together by doing physio and pilates but it's likely that the condition will also come back in pregnancy no.2 making it difficult for me to walk, stand or bend again.

By that stage my 4-month-old will be about 15 months old (presuming I can pregnant again) and about 18 months when the next baby is born.

My partner is a good man and quite helpful but as I'm not the complaining type he really doesn't understand how painful it has been and I tend to just get on with things and then explode.

My real question is how hard will it be to look after an infant of that age when I'm not meant to walk, stand or bend? Obviously I will do all those things but I will have to try to keep it to a minimum.


Sorry for the length of the post!