10 things breastfeeding advocates should stop saying

[Yeddi]

TBH I don't really understand why these comments made by "breastfeeding advocates" would offend or upset someone unless they already had a hang up about their decision to FF. If you are confident in your decision then why would these statements matter? I've done both and don't feel the need to justify or validate either decision. That being said, I can see where some BF mothers could see this thread of being a bit of a witch hunt, where they have to mind every word, else it could be twisted to be taken as a personal criticism of those who formula feed, but it's okay to make sweeping judgements on BFing.

[entreat]

TBH I don't really understand why these comments made by "breastfeeding advocates" would offend or upset someone unless they already had a hang up about their decision to FF. If you are confident in your decision then why would these statements matter?

I think because it's annoying that people have these misconceptions & feel qualified to say them. I am totally at ease (and a little bit righteous) about my breastfeeding, but I still get narky when people start telling me when to wean, how to feed solids, when to feed solids, how much to feed, etc. It really bugs me. Not because be I have any doubt in what I'm doing, but because clearly other people have so much doubt, that they need to tell me.

And I think it's fair to be annoyed by that.

[Artechim]

[QUOTE]TBH I don't really understand why these comments made by "breastfeeding advocates" would offend or upset someone unless they already had a hang up about their decision to FF. If you are confident in your decision then why would these statements matter?/QUOTE]

Are you serious?? You really don't think someone would be upset if you told them they didn't love their baby enough because they weren't breastfeeding???

[HotI]

Are you serious?? You really don't think someone would be upset if you told them they didn't love their baby enough because they weren't breastfeeding???

I think the statements are that stupid that i would discount the opinion of the person who said them.

[Fleur]

What if you're NOT that sure of your decision?

What if you were tired, sleep deprived and hormonal, you had reached the absolute end of your rope, could not stand for one more minute to have a baby who hurt you every time she latched, or screamed every time you attempted to BF, or who cried & pulled off every minute or so... and you went to formula, and you regretted it, you wondered if you had tried long enough , tried hard enough, and THEN someone comes along and tells you - to be 'helpful'! that if you had just tried a little bit harder you would have gotten through it.

What good does that do?...it isn't helpful, it is hurtful and only adds to the doubt and regret that mother is feeling.

I am a great believer in owning your choices and your feelings.
I agree that if you are feeling happy and content with your choices then the comments of others have little effect. And I sometimes use that as a yardstick in making my choices.
But it's not always that cut & dried, there is often so much emotion tied up with the decision to stop BF or to use FF that simple logic doesn't come into it, and to tell a FF mother that if she's offended or hurt by these comments then obviously she isn't happy with her decision, is pointless and TBH comes across a bit like - 'if you're offended you must have made the wrong choice?'.

[meow]

What if you're NOT that sure of your decision?

What if you were tired, sleep deprived and hormonal, you had reached the absolute end of your rope, could not stand for one more minute to have a baby who hurt you every time she latched, or screamed every time you attempted to BF, or who cried & pulled off every minute or so... and you went to formula, and you regretted it, you wondered if you had tried long enough , tried hard enough, and THEN someone comes along and tells you - to be 'helpful'! that if you had just tried a little bit harder you would have gotten through it.

What good does that do?...it isn't helpful, it is hurtful and only adds to the doubt and regret that mother is feeling.

But then some mother's say they appreciate hearing that because then they think they may be able to BF with their next baby.

I note that a few people have commented about what others implied when they made comments to them. I think implications are something you have to own yourself. If you hear a comment like the one above and think the person is implying you gave up too easily then maybe that's you projecting your own feelings on the comment. It's very possible the intended implication wasn't what you believe it to be.