Feeding difficulties Debrief

[cheekymonkey]

How can I move past this. Thinking about not being able to breastfeed takes up every spare minute of my time. I won't go into my story again, but I have just had a debrief with a lactation consultant. I thought it might help me to feel better but it didn't. I know my next BF journey is going to also be a haze of pumping, supply lines, supplementing and breast refusal. At best if I have "a willing baby" I will be able to drop top ups when solids are well established, that is if I even get that far. I am ashamed at the way I feed my baby, I'm embarrassed by bottle feeding in public. This isn't me. I was meant to breastfeed. It feels all wrong. I feel like a freak and a failure. I'm angry that none of the LC's/ GP's, MCHN bother to look any deeper. How do I move past this?? It doesn't help that barely anyone has this condition, very rare, I have nobody to talk to who understands, who is in my position. These feelings are sabotaging motherhood for me and I don't know how to make it stop.