FF as a lifestyle decision?

[jma]

Comes to choice. I have BF both my children. One thrived, one did not. My son was a skinny, uncontent baby but I perservied (sp?) til he was 4.5 - 5 months. I then put him on the bottle and he became a happy and contented baby.

My daughter really thrived from BF. She loved it. She was a chubby happy baby from word go. I fed her until 6 months and stopped as she started to bite me and I had to put her into daycare. I found it easier to FF once she was at daycare as expressing and I just never hit it off!

I plan to BF this baby as well but will take it as it goes. If he does not thrive from me I will switch to FF. I should have done it earlier with my first son but thought if I changed that I would be doing the wrong thing by him. I now realise the poor thing was starving all the time! Yet it worked great for my daughter.

As most people have said, take it as it comes. See what works for you and your bub.

[ShootingStar]

Chloe, i was just stating from my personal experience.. i never knew a personal experience was a factual error? Once i stopped BF i would just eat when i was hungry, rather than making sure i had a correct stable diet of 3 meals a day. And i know alot of people are the same way. Perhaps you arent.
Nether the less, i was merely supporting Amber in saying dont let anyone make you feel guilty or pressure you into anything.. as i know alot of mothers who choose the formula path receive.

Im not starting a debate at all.. as ive said from the beginning, this is my personal opinion and experience.

[Janie]

I have combined BF with FF for various reasons since my DS was born. I did not want to FF at all, but that's the way it's ended up.

There are some really good posts in this thread. It's so true that no matter what you do, someone will see fit to judge you, and tell you that you're doing the wrong thing for your baby. I cop it all the time for continuing to BF, have really since DS was past 6 months. I'm like Liz, I like whatever is easiest, cheapest and gets me the most sleep LOL! So yeah, I keep BFing. I love that it's good for him, and that he enjoys it. On the other hand I loathe washing up the bottles, it is my most hated job. I'm not saying bottles are bad, obviously some get by with no problems but there hasn't been a day since DS was born that I didn't wish to get rid of them and exclusively BF. And when he was little I would have loved to be able to go out without taking along bottles and formula, and worrying about getting caught without a feed for him.

As for BFing being expensive and needing all of those things, yes, you might need some cream etc but that's all in the early days. Once things have settled down, BFing should cost you nothing extra. And I know that FF doesn't take up all of your day, but it does take more time (chores-wise) than BFing, and if you have a baby like mine was, you need to make the most of every waking moment LOL!

[Ginger]

For me personally, being a stay at home mum, i find that bfing is like fast food for babies- by that i mean that it is just so convenient for my lifestyle. i love that i can just pull out my bb's anywhere and there is warm, fresh milk ready to go, on tap, as my dp likes to put it!
In my personal circumstances (not working) it suits us perfectly and i know that ffing would annoy me because i am lazy and not good at organisation and preparation. it is totally your decision, but i have to add to what other posters have said, don't write off bfing as being too hard as i found that although it may have been hard at first to establish, once established it is very convenient.

[sushee]

Kellxx, your experience is likely accurate for your circumstance, but I suppose when you make a statement, and it was not the experience of others, they too will pipe up, esp if a statement was made that was contrary to their experience, therefore making it inaccurate in their minds. It's not a personal attack, just someone saying 'but it wasn't like that for me though!'. Esp if you only BFed for 9 days - you would not have experienced the cost benefit of BFing long term.

So hopefully now we can move on from that.

I personally don't believe that BFing is costly in any way shape or form in my experience. BFing cost me the price of a very small tube of lanisoh, one packet of 3 pair of reusable breastpads ($10) and the cost of 2 cabbages for when I was engorged (which you'll get even if you don't BFed btw!) for a full 12 months of milk for my baby. That's cheaper than dirt. :P So nothing at all compared to the cost of buying bottles and formula. Not trying to enter into any argument, just stating my experience.

FFing works for many people, and BFing similarly works for many people, but I have to admit, there has to be a fair amount of commitment from you to make BFing work, and if your heart is not in it, TBH I don't see the point of cajoling anyone to persevere. But hey, if you change your mind and find that BFing is something you really do want to continue with after all, we'll be here to help out anytime.

[Macca79]

I have just put my son onto formula full time. I breast fed for 7 weeks and had a few minor problems but three days ago I just decided to put on FF. I have been a happier mum for it I must confess and find it less stressful then BF. But thinking back to a few weeks ago when I was still pregnant I remember how indecisive I was about things particularly BF. Maybe just prepare yourself for both. Buy a few bottles and formula and keep them in the cupboard as well as a few nursing bras and breast pads. This way your prepared for both . Either way the most important thing in my opinion for any baby is a happy mum so do what you feel is right for you and your baby, your the only person who will know what is best. I hope what ever your choice it works out well. Have faith your mothering abilities .

[paradise lost]

Totally O/T Macca but can you remove that photo of your DS from his ticker? I am brooding myself sick here!!! Far too cute, pretty sure it's illegal...

Bx

[~Belinda~]

My DD Madeleine was FF from 3 weeks. I made the decision as I was in agony with cracked, bleeding nipples and never got those hard, full breasts either. I gave it a good go though.

I never looked back at my decision, didn't even feel guilty. My DD is very healthy and that's all that matters to me. I praise those women who can BF but it just wasn't possible for me. I agree it is cheaper and easier to probably BF. It's been no big deal to make up her bottles though, I'm pretty organised anyway.

Feeding Madeleine is only a small part of what is to be for the rest of her life and she loves her milk and is healthy so that's all that matters to me.

Not sure if we are having another baby but if we were to decide, I would probably give BF a go again but would go onto FF no problems if there were the same issues.

[sunshine_sieben]

Hi, I am very pro BFing, but I understand where you are coming from. But, I would really urge you to keep an open mind.

I had to bottle feed (Expressed breast milk, not formula) in the early days and found it soooo hard. It was such a hassle for me as I had to wash and setrilise bottles. All this stuff was constantly standing around in my kitchen, when DD was hungry (and often you don't get much warning), I had to heat a bottle one handed with a screaming baby in the other arm. It was an absolute nightmare. Let alone all the money this costs. And DD didn't take well to the bottle, I tried so many different teats until I found one she sort of liked. She got lots of gas from the bottle, so there was lots of crying and wind. After a few weeks BFing was finally established properly and it was such a breeze. I didn't have to lug around bottles and worry about any of this washing & sterilising stuff. If DD was hungry, I could just pop out a boob and away she'd go. I used this time to bond with her or sometimes to read a book. I loved how it forced me to have a break.
I also run a business with DH. Until DD was 3 months, we worked from home (we have since moved into a workshop). Although I was not able to help all that much, I don't think i would have been able to help much more if I had been FF. I invested in a HugABub so that while DD was asleep (which could be 5 hours at a time when in the HugABub) I could get lots of work done, like the BAS and stuff like that. Even during breastfeeding I sometimes worked on the computer.
Also, consider the fact that FF babies tend to get sick a little more often. How would that affect your work?
And night times were soooo easy when BFing. I could actually sleep while feeding so the next day I wasn't all that tired and could get on with my work.

Oh, and by the way, I HATED my nipples being played with. They used to be soooo overly sensitive. But that never bothered me during breastfeeding. I actually really enjoy the breastfeeding relationship I have with DD (I still am BFing her, although it is very quick and not so frequent these days). They are some of the sweetest moments we share. DH loves watching us. He feels like he witnesses a very special, almost sacred moment. He did sometimes get to feed DD aswell with EBM, so your DH can be involved in the feeding relationship.

Having said all that, my decision was mainly based on the physical and mental health advantages that BFing has and on the fact that I just consider it the natural thing to do.

But you will have to make your own decision. And whatever you decide, don't worry about what other people might think or say. It's your body and your baby. No matter what you do in your new role as a parent, there will be people telling you it is the wrong thing. I used to have people tell me at 3 months that I have to put DD on formula. For varying reasons like: "She needs extra nutrition" or "you're spoiling her and don't let her become independent" or "you need to get your life back". They couldn't quite explain to me how I would be getting my life back, but I never asked. I jsut smiled and nodded and did what I felt was the right thing to do.

All the best,
Sasa

[~Belinda~]

Sasa, that's not good about gas from bottle and standing in kitchen heating bottles etc. I know what you mean though about waiting for bottle to heat, easier to just put out the boob isn't it! But in saying this, I let my DD cry for a couple of minutes and she was fine and really, I used bottles that had the anti-colic teat so she never got gas from them. I guess each baby is different but good on you for BF'ing. I think it's good if you can continue with it, I just didn't want to beat myself up about it and at the end of the day, was happy to FF. My DD has NEVER been sick, she's almost 6 months and hasn't even had a cold!! But she did have 3 good weeks of BF'ing in the beginning!

Interesting that we all have such different experiences

[sunshine_sieben]

Evening Star, I made a grammatical error in my last post (and probably a few spelling mistakes ;-) So there was a slight misunderstanding. I meant to say "All this stuff was constantly standing around my kitchen" (meaning the bottles, teats, etc.) and then I meant to start a new sentence about DD wanting a feed and me having to get the bottle ready. So I wasn't saying I was constantly standing in the kitchen getting bottles ready for a crying baby. That would definitely have been an exaggeration.

I guess, it just added to the anxiety of being a new mum... not really knowing what to do and having a crying bub and not being able to do somehting about it immediately. It definitely took me a lot longer than 2 minutes to get a bottle ready. More like 5-10.

I also used bottles with anti colic teats, but they're more a marketing gimmick IMHO. I actually found that the simplest teats turned out to be the ones causing the least gas. And in my case it really was the bottles giving her gas. Cause even later on, when DD was over the whole Newborn gas issues, whenever I gave her a bottle of EBM, she had gas again. too much coincindence in my books...

But some babies take to bottles very well. Mine just didn't.

Oh, and by the way, I don't blame you for stopping BFing because of the pain. I recently had cracked bleeding nipples and they are excrutiating. If I had gotten them early on, when you seem to feed bub constantly, I don't know if I could have gone through with it. But I find that pumping and bottle feeding EBM can be a good way to deal with cracked nipples as it gives them a chance to heal.

I have to say, I had the advantage that I had A LOT of support. I was in a birth centre and in the early days, my midwife came to see me every day, sometimes for 3-4 hours to help me get my BFing issues sorted. But after a couple of weeks we were good to go. I realise that most women don't get that kind of support. Often they have nobody around who has breastfed themselves. So when things don't go to plan, FF seems like the only option.

Please don't think I am looking down upon anyone who FF. Or being very critical about it. We all set out to do the best we can for our babies.

Sasa

[~Belinda~]

Sasa, not at all! I think it's great you continue your BF journey. Who am I to judge what you have gone through? It's not like I can say "keep trying to BF, it's worth it at the end of the day!" because I have heard heaps of women perservere and come out at the end so happy that they did keep it up!

For me, my milk went out and Madeleine just seemed to not be getting enough. My nipples were so sore and I was crying at every feed. Even with support from an LC and everyone around me, I was scared of getting depressed! And I was someone who didn't even get the baby blues in hospital, even though all the midwives told me I would!!! I hated that.

So good on you for BF'ing, well done, no offence taken at all, was just explaining I guess that all Bubs are different and it didn't bother me at all to make up bottles or FF my DD. I am so glad I made that decision. I bet if I did keep up the BF'ing, I would be saying how awesome that is!!! I bet!

Take care, Love Belinda

[amberj]

Wow, I can't beleive how many replies my thread has generated!

I just wanted to give an update, now that I have had my baby and he is 3 weeks old. I started off BFing and had lots of problems with it- nothing insurmountable, but my baby was quite jaundiced, and very big (4.2kg) and I had LOTS of complications with birth, so trying to persist through the BF problems to get him enough to eat was not something I could deal with. I started expressing and continue to, but we suppliment with formula, and my supply is dwindling, so he is largely formula fed now, with whatever breastmilk I can make as well.

FF is working well for all of us- my DH loves being able to feed Peter and we can share nighttime feeds. Peter doesn't seem to notice any difference between breastmilk and formula and is gaining weight and eating well. He does have a cold, but that could have happened either way, I guess.

From the "other side" I feel both more and less guilty about FFing than I thought I would. I care less about other people's opinions and am only concerned about what is right and best for my baby. Any guilt I feel is not about what other's think, but about hoping I am doing the right thing for Peter.

Just wanted to share a quick update in case anyone is trying to make a similar decision. My baby, myself and my husband are all happy- it hasn't been easy and not without some guilt, but I still think we are in a good place.

[Arimeh]

That sounds fantastic Jessica - congrats again on your little boy

And I'm pretty sure I'll end up FF this one as well - my DH just loves the closeness as well!!!!

[M22]

amber- that is brilliant

i agree with waht you've said- bottom line is you have to be happy and confident with your decision and that is what makes a happy mummy!!

congrats on baby Peter!!

[M22]

amber- that is brilliant

i agree with what you've said- bottom line is you have to be happy and confident with your decision and that is what makes a happy mummy!!

congrats on baby Peter!!

[myboysmumma]

amber- that is brilliant

i agree with what you've said- bottom line is you have to be happy and confident with your decision and that is what makes a happy mummy!!

congrats on baby Peter!!

exactly