hi!
have u tried expressing??
i was in a very similar situation with dd 1 so when ds came along i didnt b/f i expressed and bottle fed from day 1 i never attached him- from fear i didnt want to experience wat i did wit dd with the pain ect. its ok to formula feed my dd is nearly 3 and is the smartest little cookie! ur baby has to be fed and u are doing ur best! there is nothing wrong wit formula, and as for people judging u they actually have no right so i wouldnt worry my love jus take one step at a time!!!
good luck