I BF DD exclusively for the first 4 or 5 days, i wasnt shown how to attach her in the hossy (just had a midwife glance and say yeah thats fine) and DD was getting more blood out than milk (even though i had tonnes of milk i was like a jersey cow). so i decided to try bottle feeding EBM seeing as i had so much milk (i could easily get 100ml out of each boob 4 hourly) but as most of you know not being 'allowed' anyone to visit and help me (banned by XP) and dealing with XPs manic episodes i was utterly exahusted. As soon as i gave DD a bottle she settled, i settled a bit and i felt alot better. When i got admitted to the MBU i was keen to re establish BFing, i wanted to be a good mum and do all the 'right' stuff eg BFing, but was put onto anti psychotic medication which does not allow for BFing. i think my mental health was more important than proving a point to myself.