My friends mother came out when we were at high school and although my friend knew that her mums best friend used to stay the night etc she had never actually made the connection that it was more than just friends.... This "friend' had been staying over since she was only about 10 and she was 16 when her mum came out and she was devistated that there had been this 'secret' for so many years and even to this day she is resentful about it and wishes her mum had told her about her preferences from the start even though she probably wouldnt have understood at the time coz she was so young - atleast she would have had the chance for it to 'dawn' on her what was happening rather than having to have it basically spelt out for her!

I dont think that would have help you out at all sorry, just remembering my friends reaction and it is spilling out of me..