i would think, from reading your opening post, that you need to sort out a lot before you consider going through any sort of assisted conception. first and foremost, you need to work out where your relationship stands. given your "partner" is not faithful, is using emotional blackmail on you to get her way (you don't put out enough, so she goes with her ex) - it just doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for either of you. it sounds like she is trying to manipulate the situation to HER liking - she can sleep around because you don't put out, but you're not allowed to see your "friend" for whatever reason. REALLY not a healthy relationship for YOU let alone any child you want to bring into this world

AC is bloody hard, financially AND emotionally, and not something to enter into lightly. if you choose to go into this as a single woman, so be it - but if you're going into it as a member of a couple, you need to be there to support each other full time. also keep in mind that, as of next year, same sex couples WILL be recognised by the government as couples for the purposes of any payments, which means financially you may be dependent on your partner for finances - could add a lot of strain.

you need to be in a positive and confortable place with your relationship before you add the stress and strain of AC