I have to syringe DH's ears several times a year. I always do his after he has a had a shower (the steam softens it up making it a little easier to get out) and I use tepid water. Cold water makes it hard again and more work; hot water is too painful. It always takes 3 or 4 syringes to get results with DH's ears. It is gross what comes out. I might try candelling on him... but there is something just SO satisfying about cleaning his ears with a syringe!!! His wax is so thick and sticky that cotton buds do nothing for him...
I think DD's ears are going to be similar as she gets older as I have to clean her ears every second week on average...