Oh, forgot the most important thing "look after yourself" during all of this. It is so easy for it all to become about him. My DH got counselling to deal with everything that was happening to him, but I got nothing. I had no understanding about the changes in him or how to support him. It was a real strain on the relationship. He would often drink whilst taking the pain killers and completely withdraw. Sex became an issue. He would be bright and bubbly around others, but grumpy and quiet around me. I was confused, upset and angry. Years later he finally fessed up to things about himself that he was taught in rehab, pity he did not keep me informed while all this was happening. I know understood that sometimes the pain got so much for him, that he needed the odd night where he drank as it was the only way the pain went away. So it was something I could keep an eye on to make sure he was not doing it to often and I also realised that is was not about him withdrawing from me. He is much better with his pain these days, he rarely takes any pain meds and he was on 200mg of Tramadol at a time.

In the end I found that it is best for me to ignore his injury. I left it up to him, as an adult, to decide when he needed rest, when he could or could not lift something. I found it stressful to constantly think about his injury.