Well I've been having a lot of one year anniversaries lately - it was around this time last year that I'd just had the lumpectomy and found out I needed a mastectomy. What a huge time it has been, and yet here I am and life goes on and dare I say it is starting to return to normal. Well a new normal, anyway.
I had my mastectomy and reconstruction on the 7th of December, and despite a few early circulation problems, the nooboob hung on, didn't get infected, and I'm very slowly adjusting to the 'new me'. I tend to spend a lot of time in the bathroom staring at the mirror - I have over half a meter of scars, front and back, and strange lumps and dimples from the rearrangement. It still feels weird though, my back, underarm, and chest are all different as a result of the surgery. The nooboob is heavier and I'm often aware of it hanging there like an intruder, even though the skin itself has no sensation.
I'm seeing the surgeon again tomorrow, it will be interesting to hear whether he thinks it's perfect or whether he thinks it needs tweaking. I'm still not sure if I want a nipple made or tattooed on or if I'm happy to live with it smiling blankly at me like the lights are on but no-one's home. Because it's been a year, I'm also having a mammogram - and I've been using my bestest distraction techniques to take my mind off it. I don't ever want to have to go through all that again but the possibility will be there for the rest of my life.
i guess the first year anniversary will always be the hardest in a way.
TBH i think i get your ponderings over whether to nipple or not nipple. it would be another change to adjust to, maybe not yet, maybe in a little bit? is there an end time by which it would need to be done? or can you decide at 93 to have a splash ?
the mammogram would be scary have you got any hints and tips from girls who have done it before on how to distract (ie go fishing, mountain climbing...haighs tour ?) do you get the results straightaway or have to wait?
thinking of ya babe! and sending all my love and happy and healthy and right as rain vibes express post xx
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?) do you get the results straightaway or have to wait?
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