Women's Illnesses - A Social Stigma

[Aimz]

Sometimes even my own DH screws his face up when things like heavy periods, thrush, UTI's and sore nipples are brought up. That is not to say that he won't talk about it with me, but it's not his favourite topic. I think that is because I am his wife, his friend and his lover and things like the above mentioned "get in the way" of me being sexual. That is my opinion, not necessarily his.

[Bathsheba]

I missed this the first time it was posted Amy... very interesting... *mulling for a while*

[Footsteps]

amy,
its sooo true, my own dp goes quiet when i talk about womens prob atm the gynae has told me im gna need a hystorectomy and he wont really say much...female probs are a taboo i think huni iv noticed that with alot of things y i dont know y... men dont talk about their probs either.
you av brought up a very good point huni.
xxx

[Aimz]

Wow I haven't seen this post for months! I'm not sure if I quite agree anymore with some of the points I raised but certainly some of them are valid. I'm interested in what you have to say Bath.

[butterfly_warrior]

I also missed this the first time... And the thoughts running through my head as I read went along similar lines to Dach and Bec. I think it's just a typical male response. Try talking to them about male illnesses and see what happens. I seriously doubt they'd stay in the room for a discussion about penile cancer, testicular cancer, impotence, and there's very few of them will talk about infertility!

I also want to add that the people around me end up with no option but to be faced with these things. I talk quite openly about our infertility and our IVF journey with our friends and my colleagues. There are some young single men that I worked with (and some not so young!) that have gained a damned good understanding of what it actually takes to get pregnant, stay pregnant and now know that being pregnant isn't just simply growing an enormous bump and having everything else in your body remain the same.

I'm not entirely sure whether it's an aspect of life that is changing and people are becoming more willing to talk about these things, or it's just that I've changed the people I associate with because they had no choice but to be confronted with these things.

BW

[Trillian]

I only just saw this now too LOL. I'm with Dach and Bx on this one - it's not that it's a female issue, its that its a personal one and you would find the same response with the *male* ilnesses too. People just don't know what is the appropriate way to act upon hearing news of a pg loss or *female* illness - both males and females so they just shuffle around the topic, they acknowledge it, but not address it kwim?

[paradise lost]

I do think now, with a few more experiences under my belt (of peoples' attitudes, not loss or illness thank goodness) that part of this problem is to do with what people talk about under NORMAL circumstances. In the absence of illness, after a perfectly normal pregnancy and delivery most people (myself not included ) STILL wouldn't ask after anything physical. It's not the same everywhere - Sheila Kitzinger writes about once not lang after the birth of her first baby she was at a posh dinner with many ambassadors and the French ambassador, a middle-aged man, on hearing of her recent arrival leaned across the table and called out "And do you have plenty of milk for the baby?" - that would be considered in poor taste in the UK and pretty much scandalous in the US.

In a society that NEVER EVER wants to discuss even a normal healthy situation relating to fertility, reproduction etc., why WOULD we suddenly be able to handle it when then there's a problem. XP has taught DD to says "Don't kick dada in the testiclay!" but you should see him blush if she makes reference to her vagina with the proper word!

Bx