I do think now, with a few more experiences under my belt (of peoples' attitudes, not loss or illness thank goodness) that part of this problem is to do with what people talk about under NORMAL circumstances. In the absence of illness, after a perfectly normal pregnancy and delivery most people (myself not included ) STILL wouldn't ask after anything physical. It's not the same everywhere - Sheila Kitzinger writes about once not lang after the birth of her first baby she was at a posh dinner with many ambassadors and the French ambassador, a middle-aged man, on hearing of her recent arrival leaned across the table and called out "And do you have plenty of milk for the baby?" - that would be considered in poor taste in the UK and pretty much scandalous in the US.

In a society that NEVER EVER wants to discuss even a normal healthy situation relating to fertility, reproduction etc., why WOULD we suddenly be able to handle it when then there's a problem. XP has taught DD to says "Don't kick dada in the testiclay!" but you should see him blush if she makes reference to her vagina with the proper word!

Bx