Thank you for all of your posts in this thread, they have been invaluable to me, helping me work through some things and have held my hand during a difficult time. I wanted to say thanks earlier but our Internet was down so i have been unable to pop back in.

I had a meeting with the MCHN which was very helpful and a chat with other friends who have been through similar stuff. That plus a big talk with the staff at a sleep school has highlighted to me how close I am to going under. I can see that i am close to suffering from, if not already in the grips if PND and it is scary.

The last few days have been a blur of fog, tears, snapping, screaming at the kids, fury at my partner, sleeplessness and gut wrenching fear that I don't think i have any more in me. I think the only thing that has saved me and will save me from things getting worse is facing up to the challenges, thinking through the things i have posted here and getting some perespective from everyone (both here and in real life). I can see that head down and keep going is such an easy path to depression when things are like this so i am trying to keep a check, keep perspective, keep talking and keep asking for help. I hate to think where I would be without that.

I did post earlier that the downside to being informed is that you risk feeling so much more devestated when thngs don't work out, i think that being so sleep deprived can colour one's ability to take that sort of feeling with the necessary grain of salt. I feel I have lost my perspective. Still, one good thing about being informed is that i have been able to recognize very quickly when things are getting beyond just bad for me and know to take steps to help myself.

Thank you though to you for your hands out help in working through this.
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