DD was at least 14 months before I discovered I could look at a newborn baby and think warm thoughts instead of 'OMG, I am soooo not going there again', LOL!
At 18 months, a little sooner than we'd initially thought, we decided to TTC #2 - our last. I didn't suffer from PND, but I was a very anxious parent with a fairly wakeful and unsettled child, so it was only when all of that settled down that I even entertained the thought of a second. I am still a bit scared about looking after the two of them (and OMG - bubs is going to be here all too soon, LOL!) but I feel now that I will be able to cope. Any earlier, and I don't think I would've.
You're so normal, mate. Enjoy your little one and leave the future to the future
After DD1 I thought I would never go through that whole experience again.
Horrible pregnancy, birth and then screaming newborn.
It took me about 3 years to come around to thinking about another one and 4 years before I felt as though I was ready and def. wanted another.
I have a 4yr 9 mth age gap and can honestly I love it.
Pregnancy wasn't so bad, the birth was better and I am much more relaxed the second time around.
Next bub I will have another big age gap, at least three years.
SO don't worry about it and go at your own pace, there is nothing wrong with just 1
I think one thing that we had to keep reminding ourselves of, is the baby wouldn't be here for another 9 months or more, depending on how long it took to conceive, and how different things would be then. So when DS was only 9 mths or 12 mths, there's no way I could have thrown another bub into the mix right then, but I kept reminding myself that DS would be nearly 2 or more by the time the baby came, and life would be very different.
It's a bit like right now I couldn't have 3, but in a years time, DS will be at preschool 2 days a week, and DD would be 2, the dynamic of the house would be sooo different to what it is now. So to have a bub in a year's time means we need to get cracking with TTC in the next few months!
I also don't really 'get' the whole giving the first baby all that exclusive attention.. what about the poor siblings? They have to share your attention from day 1! I don't believe that the first sibling is deprived of time & development, it's not like you ignore them just coz there's a baby in the house lol.
Last edited by Liz; February 18th, 2009 at 01:12 PM.
: thought I lost the post, but nope.. still here! LOL
Cassius - that feeling deep in your heart about wanting a 2nd is the same for me. but although i want it, i'm not sure i can cope with it. i guess in time i might feel differently.
luey - DS was up every 2 hours last night (not quite as bad as hourly) so the thought of a)doing this all again and b)doing it with a toddler is very frightening! When I answer ppl saying that we probably (might??) not have another child I get so much criticism too. Mostly people saying that an only child is spoilt and that the won't be 'well rounded people' if they don't have siblings - there are many more factors that impact our developoment than whether or not we have siblings.
sweetpea- i totally understand about having trouble getting things done. DS wants my attention and my presence all the time so it's tricky to get to the loo, let alone cook dinner.
ll80 - i'm with you on the larger gap. i think it gives us time to focus on our bubs and give them the attention they need.
Liz - so true about the 9 months. i'm lucky that i have a cousin with a bub who's 9 months older than my DS. So i can look at him and think "could i manage a newborn and him?".
Thanks everyone. It's such a personal decision and I guess no matter what we choose, our bubs grow up to be happy, well-rounded people and we all live to tell the tale - for the most part anyway
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