To me the only true "inity" (femin or mascul) is there in the absence of the opposite sex. So much of modern "inity" is about how we respond to the OTHER sex. Men protect women? When there are no men around WOMEN protect women/themselves. Women nurture? When there are no women around men manage to feed and clothe themselves and will even *gasp* hug one another. XP manages to nurture DD during her time with him just great.

FOr DP and i (who do not yet live together full-time so you may all chug salt while you read this one ) so far we seem to do it on a best-qualified basis. If i'm struggling with the home wifi network DP deals with it - he's a software engineer. If DD is starving i deal with it - i know how to cook WAY better and more nutritious food than him (equally he has me learning java and i have him learning new recipes all the time). I have more practical skills, because of my life experiences, than him. So i do more of the practical things, but he earns enough that i won't have to work out of the home when we buy our house because he's so damn good at his job. Also he has a car and is the master of "making things easy" - he just sorts out whatever needs doing in such a way that you mention it once and then it's done. While i'm bathing DD he tidies the rest of her stuff away and does the dishes so we can just be together when she's in bed. I feel like a team-mate on a relatively well-run team.

If he is feeling low i am dominant and caring, if i am feeling low HE is dominant and caring. We try to meet the team needs together. We even talk about ourselves as a team! LOL.

The only place i'm submissive rather than equal is in the bedroom. That is at MY request and works great for us (probably because i'm equal/dominant everywhere else). To me that's such an individual dynamic, it's not really about gender roles at all.

Bx