i think encouraging bodily autonomy in our children is extremely important. Pinky McKay did a blog on it last year that i e-mailed to family members to let them know our position (some people were starting to reequire kiss/cuddle good-bye and DD was 'norty' if she wasn'tkeen)

Have you ever considered the messages we give small children about their right to 'own' their bodies and to refuse unwanted touching? These messages start with tiny babies as we pass them from person to person;, how we do everyday tasks such as cleaning and wiping littlies, without so much as an explanation; and how we expect children to accept tickles and kisses from relatives -or even strangers who think they have a right to 'coochie coo' those chubby cheeks or to squeeze a juicy little knee.

Often we are more concerned with what others may think about US and how we have taught our littlies to 'be polite' (and not wipe off those yukky kisses or tell the kisser to 'go away!"), than our children's feelings.

As we unwittingly give children messages about compliance, we may also be setting them up for potentially abusive situations. Instead, we can treat babies and small children with respect and allow them to refuse any unwanted touching -from anyone, even grandma if they don't feel like hugs and kisses. Yes, I know babies and children are 'delicious' and grandma (and anyone else) may have their feelings hurt but perhaps instead of insisting kids 'kiss granny', we can ask, would you like a cuddle? Or, do you have a goodbye hug for Grandad? And we can respect their wishes. When they are treated with respect, children will learn that they do have rights, that their body is theirs and they can be in charge. Most importantly we give them a clear message that they are safe to come and tell us if they feel that their privacy has been breached in any way and they know we will listen, because we always have.

As well as respecting our children's bodies, we need to respect and love our own bodies, especially all the changes that happen when we do the amazing job of growing, nurturing and nourishing babies. And that's the focus of this newsletter - body image, our own and our child's. So read on and let us know your comments on my facebook fan page. Let's get discussion happening about gentle, respectful nurturing. If you have a topic you'd like to raise, please feel free to bring it up.

Pinky McKay