Thanks for your kind words and advice everyone. Its nice to know i'm not alone and that it does get better.
Last night was a bit better. My newborn was unsettled untill around 9.00pm and just wanted to be held but when he finally went down he slept until 2:30 (i gave him a dream feed at 11pm). From 3am onwards he was unsettled again with lots of gas. Thanks for the advice Claire, today i have officially started my dairy free diet. I'll give it a week or two and see if there is any improvement... heres hoping
I'm part of a playgroup which is lovely but i haven't been since bub arrived coz i'm not game enough yet to juggle two.. plus Ds1 is teething atm (did i mention that?) so he's reeeaaaally intolerant and grumpy especially around people atm so i think playgroup will have to wait for now but i'm hoping to get back in the new year.

Ds2 sleeping now which is wonderful. I'm finding that he needs to be held untill he falls asleep and then i can put him in his bassinette. I'm a bit worried that this will get him into the habit of being held to sleep but i'm desperate and it seems to work(sometimes).

Thanks for the sleeping advice aussienic and nelle, i've been considering sleeping bub on his tummy but haven't tried it yet. He seems to settle a bit when he's on his side but then the dummy falls out and he wakes up again

Nelle- i've used Brauer's colic relief and it seems to help a little. I prefer to use that over infacol/infants friend etc becuase it seems like a more natural product but i was so desperate yesterday i was willing to try anything

I know how much just getting the baby off you is needed during the day so you feel like you have had some sort of break but sometimes youu just have to get them to sleep more so they sleep more then eventually some sort of routine creeps in without you knowing..
Thats how i feel aussienic, i feel like i'm constantly giving to either DS1 or DS2 all day.. i know thats a mothers job but by the end of the day i'm so mentally and physically exhausted that i feel like i have nothing left, poor hubby comes home and i can hardly hold a conversation with him. I know eventually some sort of routine will work itself out.. I hate to admit it but i find myself wishing away the time which i hate myself for. These first few weeks are so precious and i know i'll never get them back but i just want the time to go so that DS2 is 3-4 months so things get better (DS1's sleep seemed to improve around then) Am i a bad mummy for thinking that?

lilias- thanks for sharing your experience. Its nice to know that i'm not the only one feeling this way. My toddler is very 'active' as well to put it very nicely lol. He's into everything these days, i feel like i'm constantly saying no!
I have a carrier and i'll give that a try today if things get bad, Ds2 seems to settle when he's in it.. problem is it hurts my back but thats the least of my worries so and if he's happy then i'm happy!
I got outside this morning with Ds1 while DS2 is asleep... we just picked some flowers in the backyard and i put the washing on the line but it was good to get out

I think the hardest thing is the frustration. I hate feeling so frustrated at my boys and its hard having no release for the frustration IYKWIM... at least when i'm frustrated at Dh i can yell at him and not feel too bad (he gives just as good as he gets ) and then we both feel better but when it comes to my boys i have to try and stay in control and level headed which i'm finding reeeeaaaly hard because then all the frustration seems to build up and i end up crying and yelling

Anyway thanks again for the advice everyone, i feel a bit better having opened up about everything. I better go and give DS1 a bit of attention he's tearing apart the kitchen...