I have posted about this before, but I consciously parent differently from my mother in terms of food and meal times.

My Mother is from a long line of women who are wonderful cooks. Women who can make beautiful food on a very meagre budget. Women who understood that food equated power. I can clearly remember my grandmother "ruling" the dining table with her freshly made bread, LOL! And my mother carried on this "tradition".

My Mother, whilst I know she had every best intention at heart, used food, inadvertently, as an emotional tool.

As children, if we ate well, we were praised and cuddled. If we ate well, and finished off our plates, we were rewarded with puddings and kisses.

If, on the other hand, we chose not to eat, we were berated and my Mother would vent her anger on us.

So, when I recall all of these behaviours, I know that, in order to break this pattern that has developed over generations of women, that I must parent differently.

I recall when my eldest daughter was just starting solids and I had lovingly prepared some homemade delight. She spat it out and I got cross with her. WHAT??? All of a sudden I understood how and why my mother had acted like she did. What a waste of my time and energy and good food! But in that instant I also realised that it was only food. And that as a new Mother, my children will "waste" my time and frustrate me, but that is NOTHING to do with what they chose to put in their mouth.

Years on, I have three small children. They eat what they like, and when they like. There is no emotion attached to food. They can snack if they want. They are never told to finish their plates before they can have dessert. Meal times are happy normal times. Mummy may cook, or Daddy may cook. It makes no difference. Fruit is fruit, chocolate is chocolate, there are no "treats" or "food rewards". If they fall over, they are kissed and cuddled to make it better, not offered a lolly.

Every day I watch myself to make sure I am not repeating the patterns of prior generations.

I want my kids, particularly my two girls, to grow up with a fit and healthy approach to food. Not one laced with emotion.