Help?

[little_O]

Have you tried the 3 warnings and then time out/naughty spot? Not at that stage yet, but a close friend of mine uses it with success for her son who is a similar age and temperament.

Also does she have a "baby" of her own? One that she needs to care for? Sometimes that help if she respects her doll she learns to respect a real baby?

I'm sure some other mums have some other ideas too

[Calluna]

She is a very full on little girl, she doenst walk she runs she seems to work in fast forward and it tires me out just watching her. At home she will not amuse or play by herself as she gets bored very quickly so turns her behaviour into something destructive. I recently found she will at least sit for a brief time to watch play school which gives me a short break. I don't like using TV but mummy needs some timeout too!*

I dont have any advice but this describes my DS perfectly. He might watch 30mins of a movie before he has to get moving again. He literally prefers to run laps of the lounge room than sit and read a book. Its exhausting. To the point where I often wonder if its normal behaviour.
Will be watching this thread.

[HotI]

My DD is also very full on, and in the early days was quite rough with DS. Unless i was just there, within arms reach, i had to seperate the two of them just to keep him safe. She could also be incredibly loving towards him, but this wasn't all the time.

As DS has become more able to interact with her, she is getting more positive attention from him and doesn't feel the need to poke, hurt him etc just to get the reaction.

Time had the biggest affect on change, but giving DD concentrated attention (doing craft or jumping on trampoline) seem to fill a need in her that reduced the destructo moods. Giving her special time with DS also helped. So, having ds sit on her knee, or have a cuddle - she only needed about 20seconds and she was ready to do something else, but it helped foster the bond in a positive way.

Her reactions were/are quite immediate or in the present time, so i doubt that time outs etc would have had much impact, but i don't do them so couldn't say.

it is tough, but it has got better here.

[sloane]

but giving DD concentrated attention (doing craft or jumping on trampoline) seem to fill a need in her that reduced the destructo moods. Giving her special time with DS also helped. So, having ds sit on her knee, or have a cuddle - she only needed about 20seconds and she was ready to do something else, but it helped foster the bond in a positive way.

i was going to suggest this also. my DS is a fairly active kid as well and i find i need to give him lots of opportunity to run wild. well, not literally but things like lots of trips to the park, outside time etc. we also do swimming & this year we did a class called playball. i don't like the idea of overdoing structured activities but they were both outlets for his energy. we also did playgroup - that was all free play & did raise some problems (mostly for me) when he was going through his rough phase but it did wear him out & stop destructive-type behaviour.

[Three Graces]

We bought one of those small trampolines for DS when he was about 18 months old. The ones with the surround b.c he loved to jump at gymbaroo and in his cot. He LOVED it. Not sure if your DD would be interested, but it does give them a space to burn some energy.

My obs told me this one: she has 3 kids and when she had the third bub, she had a felt board on the wall and different activities and her middle child could choose 2 pictures of what he wanted to do while she fed bubs. It gave the older child some control over what they wanted to do and a bit of structure. She used to mix the activities/pictures, so there would be a picture of a train, or building blocks, or play dough etc. Bit difficult if your DD won't play independently - I think that's a first child thing b.c our DS1 and every other first child I know seems to want more interaction from adults and siblings when they play.

Also, when I came home with our third bub this year, I made a point of spending special one on one time with the older boys while DD slept. As much as the washing needing to be done or the dishes etc, we would sit on the floor and do a puzzle or get the paints out or bake a cake together. Although, my boys are older than your DD and I haven't had any jealousy issues with them. I think 3 is easier than 2, b.c they older ones have somebody else to play with, whereas, your DD is wanting just your attention right now.

The doll suggestion could work - especially if you praise her for being gentle with 'her baby' and make a big deal out of being really careful etc.
Lastly, you could try a playpen for your DS when he's on the floor so that he's not at risk of being sat on/scratched or bitten, especially if you have to use the toilet or grab the phone etc. I know you want to work on DD's behaviour so that she doesn't do this, but it could keep DS out of harm's way while you're working on it.