Heaven, this is a toughie, isn't it.

I night weaned DD, but TBH she was a little bit older than your DD. For some reason, at about your DD's age for a few months she suddenly increased her need for bfing overnight. In our case it might have had something to do with the fact that as DD was becoming more independent during the day (and spending a couple of afternoons which soon became a day with her godmother) she needed to reconnect with me at night.

It sounds like you are ready to night wean, because of TTC, but she might not be just yet. You're feeling guilty because you think you're pushing her, etc, etc. Night weaning to try to give her a brother or sister is a wonderful blessing for her, one that she will have for most of her life! Don't beat yourself up over it.

I would hesitate to drop the night feed before bed. If she does need a feed nutritionally, or to wind down (which was definitely the case in our household), it might make it harder to put her to bed in the first place. Plus, it disrupts her routine even further.

I told my DD that boobies were asleep while it was night and we had a drink of water by the bed instead. If she was thirsty, that was enough. If she wants comfort, lots of cuddles. I'm not so sure about getting up to warm up milk, etc, sounds like that might be more disruptive to your sleep than just bfing back to sleep! It took a good few days of DD being very definitely unimpressed with the lack of bbs before she asked for and expected water. She still asked occasionally afterwards, but was settled pretty readily. She was 16-17 mths at the time. Another thing I did was to convert her cot to a junior bed so she could come into us when she woke (my DD wasn't good at resettling on her own in the middle of the night either).

hun. I hope you figure out a balance that works for you and your family!