Jordy was like this too. I remember how frustrating it was, but in the end I just had loverboy do anything that took 2 hands, particularly dinner things (I'm not organised enough to pre-prepare).
I could sometimes put his highchair at it's highest level and roll it over next to me so he could stay close, maybe put a ricecake or a bath toy on the table...
It didn't really change once he started walking. I mean, I didn't need to carry him as much, but he did need to be near me at all times. I just learned to walk slowly so he could keep up and not think I was trying to get away from him, or I'd say "come on, we're going in here now". Even now (he's 2 1/2) he will pretty much always be where I am, even if it's playing on the floor nearby while I cook dinner or playing in the empty bath with his toys while I take a shower.
I did insist on him sleeping in his bed, though.
Is there a reason you can't sit with her? That's no good for you and she may just have to get used to it. Some things are non negotiable for your own sanity's and/or health's sake.
I studied intro to psych last term and we were told that if you don't fight it and find ways to work around it instead it can lead to healthy attachment, if that helps.
Ohh will be watching with interest, was about to start a thread of my own on this... DD2 is 6mths and is VERY clingy, if someone else takes her (incl DP) she cries of screams, if i leave a room and she notices or sees me she screams.. MCHN said it's seperation anxiety but she has been like this for MONTHS.
She is fed to sleep at night, is FINALLY back to going to sleep on her own during the day or in the middle of the night but otherwise she is basically held or i am sitting with her or beside her during awake times.
Some of the things i have tried:
* Getting DD1 to interact with her more (although she does A LOT)
* Letting her cry (just a little) when i leave the room and getting DD1 to try and distract her - this hasn't been working though.
* She's sitting now and i have found she likes BOOKS so i sit her with a book and walk away.
* Put her in the holly jumper so she can see me
* Use my baby carrier when she's being a right PITA
* When she is happy i have told DP he needs to interact with her more rather than letting me deal with her while he deals with DD1, i want her to know he is 'safe' and although he doesn't have boobs he's just as good with her..
Will watch what others suggest, i need some ME TIME aswell before i rip all my hair out.
thanks ladies,
yes she is crawling, pulling up to stand at things too. has cut her first tooth last month too...
I have an ergo mel, havent tried her on the back yet........
thanks ladies, lots of ideas to try too
x
It's hard when they are velcro babies..... I know what that's like although they go through stages and are not so clingy at times which can give you a break a bit....
Ergo's rock!!!! they are wonderful for babies of that age too as they aren't too heavy yet!
My daughter is now 21 months, and she is also a certified velcro baby!
I can also attest that:
Baby carriers (esp the beloved Ergo!!) are LIFESAVERS!!
It gets easier as they get older, although it does come and go (my girl is especially clingy at times of her development or discomfort like teething, or changes in our life like my partner being away)
The anxiety just gets worse and worse if you try to pry them loose! The more I go with it and actively cuddle, love and play with her when she needs it the better able she is to be independent and to attach to my partner and other close people as time goes on.
Velcro babies are generally really sensitive little souls, and have LOTS to offer in return for all that input! Reading 'Nighttime Parenting' or other Sears books onattachment parenting may help you put your mind at ease - he describes them as 'high needs' babies, and explains what is going on for your baby.
I totally understand where you are at! Hang in there, though, it does get easier as time passes. My showers for the first year or so were punctuated with my partner saying, "Are you almost finished?!?! How much LONGER?!?!" in increasingly desperate tones as she demanded my return - the return of Booby Person!!
You sound like you are doing a great job!!
:-) :-)
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