I swore I was never going to be "one of those" judgmental mums and I fear I am exactly it. We had dinner at a very good friends place last night. There were 6 of us, and my friend has just had her 2nd bub.

We sat around the table in very awkward silence listening to her 6 wk old cry on his own in his room. I felt sick to the stomach. It just felt wrong with everything in me, he is just so young. Another guest said "is he ok"? and my friend laughed at our uncomfortableness and said that he just knows that there are people in the house and is unsettled from it. I say - rubbish. A 6 week old doesn't know that. All he knows is whether he's comfortable or not or hungry or not. All he knows is that he can cry and hopefully someone (i.e. his parents) will help him. He has no thought, just instincts.

It was awful. And then they managed to patronise my husband and I by commenting that we are "just first time parents" and we will understand when we have our 2nd. I told them that it is not out of naivity that I parent the way I do, it is a choice. And an educated choice at that, though I didn't say that. It's not just a "feeling", it is based on evidence that young children are hindered, not helped, by being left alone in distress like that.

I love my friends but I feel times are changing. I can't honestly sit through dinner with them again. I couldn't risk having to hear their baby cry like that, it feels so wrong.
But I know I'm being judgmental. I've never told them how to parent. I just can't sit through their choices anymore...and I can't sit through being patronised like that as if I don't know what I'm doing with my own son. Or as if I just haven't "caught up" to where they are at yet.

ARGH. Vent over. Sorry. Feel much better

If anyone wants to help me with my judgmentalism feel free