I kind of agree with Kate. There are so many factors that make up 'parenting' and so many things we do as parents that affect our children. Perhaps parents who regularly use CIO with their babies/children also have other practices or attitudes that place their children's needs as secondary to their own (adult) needs??? So maybe those parents are actually doing a whole range of things that add up over time to teach their children that their needs are less important and that there is no comfort (or not much) when they are upset.

It's hard to argue against the 'they turned out fine' because we don't have a clone child/adult who wasn't left to CIO to compare to. I wonder if there are any twin studies on this? (where one twin is raised one way and the other twin the other).

I actually have no idea if I was left to CIO or not! Will have to ask my mum. We do have a close relationship but she has never tolerated tears for long. I can have a bit of a cry and then she tells me to stop crying and moves me into problem-solving mode. On the other hand, DP was not left to CIO ever yet he is not particularly close to his mum although they do get along. She is not easy to connect to emotionally imo. Go figure.

Ryn -