I've always used the distraction technique to avoid ds1 doing things that are harmful or just annoying (ie making a mess). He has a pretty easy life though, he has free reign of the house as i'm big on experimentation and freedom. But with the "twos" (they're not terrible just challenging) - theres lots of screaming, hitting, kicking - out of frustration. Plus he's really started pushing boundaries by purposely doing things i've said no to (i KNOW he's doing it because he needs attention) - i'm all for distracting and giving him the attention he is crying out for - but most of the time i simply can't because i am tending to my high needs baby - this just makes it worse. I've started to have to raise my voice and put on cartoons which i hate doing, and when he's hit the baby i put him in his room, more for the baby's protection than to shame or isolate him - this leads to more screaming, i don't think he understands...... I'm losing my patience with him and finding the urge to give a smack! Which no offence to anyone who smacks - is NOT how i want to parent - i guess i'm just reverting to how i was parented.

Just an example of were the gentle is not working - is the screaming thing, he lets out high pitched screams which causes the baby to cry hysterically because he's scared. For MONTHS i've been saying "thats an outside voice" and other kind alternatives - he just doesn't care! because he's getting a reaction. I can't give him anymore attention that i am giving. So what can i do to get him to stop doing things when i can't distract him from it or offer an alternative... he doesn't always listen to "no".

Gentle solutions too please!