Oh hun, I know how hard it is. DS1 luckily was never a tanty thrower, but he found other ways to be challenging. And DS2 - well, he is a prize winning tanty thrower as well as deciding that whatever DS1 can do, he can do better - including defiance. I have found that what worked with DS1 doesn't work with DS2, so I think a lot of it is personality based. atm the thing that is working best with DS2 is gentle time out. He soothes himself with a sheet or pillow case when he is upset, so it works quite well to put him in his bed with his sheet against his cheek and tell him he can come out when he's ready. Usually he lies there for a few minutes and then a calm little boy walks back out to us and says sorry. With DS1 the "time out spot" worked better, having him sit somewhere out of reach of distractions, but where he could see me. He responded quite well to that. I am sure there are others things that have worked from time to time too, but I am too tired to think of them just now LOL. I will let you know if I remember any. GL hun. This too does pass.