i think you're on the right track, thinknig of a tidying up game, my 4yo likes that, and has done for last few years.

i don't cope well with volume (lots of toys) and neither does she (gets overwhelmed).

We made the decision to simplify life, reduce the number of toys and did that (for me it was rehoming all the battery toys, majority of the plastic toys, anything franchised, and the toys she had grown out of). Every family would have their own priorities, for what is most important to keep. Culling was majorily influenced for me, by living in a small unit, that was the initial motivation.

ANother thing i often hear of, to work on managing the volume (i think it's for people who don't want to cull the toys, and have heaps of storage) is to ROTATE the toys. Pack up half the toys. bring them out in a month's time. Pack away current toys.

I had to work out my parenting style, to work out our criteria.

So with the volume of toys reduced, my next step was BETTER STORAGE. For us, this meant buying a cube bookshelf (4 x 3), and the cane baskets to fit into the cube shapes.

then the toys were organised. e.g anything with wheels in one basket, the trainset in one basket, the food toys and teaset in one box, the animals in one box, the block in one box, the jigsaws in one box, dressups in one box, etc etc.

all of these things, i thought - i'll try it, we can always change it if it doens't work out/suit us. but havne't had to.

The guideline in our place is "only get out ONE basket at a time. pack that basket up, before getting anything else out".

Then when i walk into her room, or the living room and have nowhere to walk (tiny place, but still), i put on my mock voice "oh no, the naughty gnomes have been again" - she loves this, giggles, and packs up the basket. It's usually when she's stopped playing, has walked off, and forgotten to pack up. in the beginning, when i was getting her used to this idea, i would sing songs, instead of telling her instructions, so that made it into a game too.

i have no experience doing any of this with two kidlets, i have one child, but sometimes i get ideas from people with different family numbers than ours, so i'm just putting it out there, JIC.

different things work for different kids, different families.

i have a three section dirty laundry sorter, so i can sort as i go, saves me time. i often fill the washing machine, but don't press go, so that the next day, when it's suits me, i can just press "go" and walk out the door, or whatever i have to do. Cos i think it's the sorting that takes most time/effort.

i would look at WHICH messy aspects is getting your dh down the most.
Is there any way to reduce the mess being made in the first place?
And something my OH (before we spilt) would NEVER do, was to rinse dishes before putting them on the sink. i found it greatly increased my dishwashing time, to have to scrub dried on food remnants. (drove me crazy).

Some housework you can turn into a game. My child has loved pegging up tiny laundry, e.g her own knicker, socks, singlets, tees etc. I discovered this late on, apparently you can do this with a just walking toddler.

my toddler used to make a pile of nappy inserts, facewashers and make pairs of the socks (which i would then ball up). she loved the matching game of it. All the facewashers together, like a tower. she worked that one out all on her own, so then i made a point of repeating that with her.

and some people find that a 3yo and a sink of lukewarm soapy water, is a good way to keep them entertained, and you even get a few plastic plates/bowls washed - all you have to do is rinse the bubbles off at a later time. Another one i discovered a bit late.

some people do outdoor play, to reduce inside mess. depends what your backyard is like.

i think it takes time to adjust to children and mess. when you're surrounded by it all day, it's not as obvious as when your OH walks in and sees it all of a sudden. Life with children IS different.

you create a family together, you BOTH work all day, i personally think a combined tidy up would take less time, and make you feel like a team. Reduce the chances of you feeling resentful.


best of luck, some things you just gotta let go, when the kids are tiny. (i havne't had breakable things out for years LOL). and at your youngest's age, i had to box up the books, cos my LO loved to thrown them all on the floor, one by one, OVER AND OVER (it was a low, wide bookshelf).

and i loved BABY GATES, so i could keep some areas relatively ok. Reducing the amount of areas that could be trashed, as well as keeping her out of unsafe areas (bathroom). It worked for me, cos if she had free rein, i felt too anxious, that NOWHERE would be as i left it.

differnt things work for different people, i hope you find what you're after. Hearing what everyone else does, really helped me (come up with new things to try out).