What worked with us was "Ohhhh did you see a Duck/Truck" that way they think they aren't actually saying a word, and every time they say a word like that correct them. No laughing just as you would if they said any other word incorrectly. It worked for my niece and it worked for my two. And then when they get older change the tactics so that it suits the age. When Paris was little we told her they were bad words and she had to tell mummy/daddy he/she was very naughty. She loved the role reversal and as a result never said it herself. Now she has some music with a couple of bad words in it but our understanding is if she wants to listen to the music she is never to utter those words if I hear those words the music will be confiscated FOREVER. And so far so good
If your son is responsive to discussions and having a little chat, try something that has worked for me on a number of occasions.
I get down on the floor and we have a little chat about rude words. That being able to say them is a priviledge. That there are times when you can say them and times when you can't.
I mean if they know them, then they've obviously heard them, and I have found it's better to acknowledge it and try to move on. Even though your son is only 2.5 they are well able to use the information you're going to give them.
I have found that giving them permission to use the word(s) in certain circumstances, and the information that some people just don't want to hear it or may get upset or angry and hearing them makes them feel as though they have some power and makes them feel as though they have a choice to make.
I usually use a variation (depending on the child) of "you can say it but not at someone - eg: F&*k that hurt, rather than You're a f*&k head etc", "you can only say it when you are alone or with me (or whatever works)", "no swearing in front of old people, doctors, the lady at the shops, your parents (whomever). Whatever works for you.
I am a family day care provider and have used this approach with a wide variety of kids at various ages and stages and to be honest it's worked almost every time. Once they are entrusted with this power they want to look after it. Especially if there is an element of "I don't want to be cross with you, but if you can't be responsible with the word(s) then we will have to work out what to do next." and mostly the swearing evaporates.
I know this might seem controversial or even wierd but what else can you do? Most kids are going to go through this phase and if they start to think it's funny or see that it pushes your buttons then they're going to use it to get a laugh, to drive you nuts or to mess with you - better to be realistic and surprise them with your honesty and "realism" about the situation.
I just ignore it.. If my kids say it I either ignore most of the time or I turn around and say thats not nice and you know that
It is quite hard at the age your son is at though.. I personally would pretend he didn't say it at all as he will keep doing it for as long as he gets attention
DD couldn't say truck for a long time and would say "f*&K" for truck which was hilarious the day she said "look mummy, silly f*$K" - I almost had an accident and just kept saying "yes silly truck" while wiping the tears from my eyes.
We went a similar route to Cai in that if DD repeated something that was said that she shouldn't have heard (like when I yelled at the dog, "Benny you little Bug**r") I would say oh yes he's a bitof butter or something like that. She soon forgot the word.
I don't think this will last once she gets to primary school though!
DS said the F word once, but only because I had said it very loud and clear when I was running late for work and couldn't find my wallet...i didn't realise he was there. I didn't aknowledge he said anything just gave DP a knowing look and went about what I was doing, DS has never said it since. He has said bugger a few times after hearing me too, thats not so bad but same thing, I just don't react to it and he won't say it again (unless he hears me). Sounds like your DS knows what he is saying, rather than just copying...not sure what else you could try...a swear jar??? He might be a bit young for that LOL.
I don't react. She says it because i said it, so i can't really tell her off. I never swear at or about people though, only general swearing (as above in the "f8ck that hurt!" example).
The other week DD was examining the callous of hard skin on my thumb from where my teeth rest against the skin when i suck my thumb (yes, i still thumb-suck, at 27, no i do not have crooked teeth, no i did not have braces or any other orthodontic work done). She was asking to hear "callous" again and again. Then we went to the shop and she annouonced "mama bit the phallus" at the top of her lungs....sometimes i WISH swearing was the problem! LOL
I am just having a quick read of this thread this morning over my cup of coffee. Although dd isn't near the age of talking proper words/sentences, I find these types of threads really interesting, cause it can give me tips/advice to maybe help avoid these sort of things. Being prepared better equips you right? lol. My only question is, and I hope this doesnt sounds stupid lol. When you 'let things go' such as swearing and not making a big deal, what happens if it completely back fires on you and they continue to say it anyway, and then they go to somehwere like Kindy and say it there too? God, I would be absolutely mortified if something like the F word came out of ava's mouth, which they then used in front of other children, who in turned used it themselves.. kwim?
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