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Thread: Swearing

  1. #1

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    Default Swearing

    DS has been dropping the F word, among others, in context.

    I dont know how to deal with it in a non-physical way. DH threatens to smack him but its not really the path I want to go down, Im just not sure what else to do.

    Time out results in him laughing, and he wont stay in the prescruibed timeout location.
    If I put him in his room, he kicks and punches the door for a while, then trashes his room. then he'll say, between fits of laughter 'serious! your serious mummy! I'm a naughty boy' He thinks its hysterical.


  2. #2

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    How old is DS hon?

  3. #3

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    my son is a bit of a swearer already, i jsut tell him that its not nice to say that word... hopefully one day it will sink in. TBH, call em a bad mum if you want lol but i am not tooooo concerned about it.

    I would rather he said a few naughty words then act violently etc

  4. #4

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    he is 2 and a half

  5. #5

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    My DD has picked up a few choice words, admittedly mostly from my potty mouth when I'm not on my game.

    She repeats them and I just tell her that you really shouldn't say those words as they are not very nice. I also tell her if she hears me saying them then she should tell me off because I am being naughty.
    Just low key I've never made a big deal about it as it would just make her swear so much more as it then became a game. When my Dad would tell her off, we were staying at his house for a while, (mind you he has the foulest mouth and she was just repeating what he was saying) DD would go nuts with the swear words.

    She loves telling me off and points out when I slip most of the time, sometimes she tells me if I do it again then I will have to go have time out on the stairs lol, DH too.
    She's been pretty good, I started doing this from about the same age as your DS.

    I'm not saying she is getting it from you though They really can pick it up from anywhere.

    GL with it

    ..Laura

  6. #6

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    At his age i would tend to more ignore it. If he doesn't hear it again too much, he'll forget about it. I too let my kids know when they were a little older that it wasn't nice, and they'd let me know if I slipped up!!

    Going on about it, or punishment, will give the swearing more meaning and oomph. He'll love it even more, and say it just to p1ss you off!!!

  7. #7

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    I just told DD1 that it wasn't very nice to say those words.
    Told her I know mummy does it sometimes & I shouldn't but please don't you do it, coz people don't like it. & she started telling us off instead.
    DD2 is a bit different. different child. We just ignore her. She's also just found the naughty finger. We ignore her & it seems to be working, but DD1 can't ignore it, so she does it to her all the time, just to get at her.

  8. #8

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    I have no idea why my kids don't drop it more often - their dad is a horrible potty mouth.

    The other day in the car I though DD was saying f'ing, f'ing, and I went WHAT?? so she kept on singing it. DS told me she was saying fogging, fogging - see look at all the fog! Which she was and the reason she kept it up was my reaction...

    I do my very best, to ignore it. She has actually said it (and I blame me because of the way she pronounces it), so I pretended she was saying froggy and pretended to jump around like a frog. That worked.....

    Just to cover my butt, I certainly did say F'ING sort of loudly under my breath when I was holding her. Because I tripped over the vaccum, the her toy pram, then stepped right on a plastic cow on my way up the hallway last week.......

    GGrrrr

    Anyway, ignoring it will work better I think.

  9. #9

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    Oh no Ray. I agree with Jodie though. I this house there are two coppers - one who swears and one who doesn't. Thank goodness the one who doesn't is me, and when she drops anything nasty I say, "that makes mummy sad when you say things like that" very quietly and then just move on and ignore.
    little blighters always seem to hear the whispers louder.

    lol Lulu.

  10. #10

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    i told him we dont talk like that, and he said 'only big boys, like daddy'.
    So I told him no, not big boys, and mummy and daddy shouldnt say those words either and he should tell us off if he say them, that no one should use those words etc etc.
    I think he just thinks its funny cos he gets our attention, I might try ignoring it and see what happens.

  11. #11

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    I would ignore it. You may find he forgets about it in a few days, if people aren't saying it around him.

  12. #12

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    What worked with us was "Ohhhh did you see a Duck/Truck" that way they think they aren't actually saying a word, and every time they say a word like that correct them. No laughing just as you would if they said any other word incorrectly. It worked for my niece and it worked for my two. And then when they get older change the tactics so that it suits the age. When Paris was little we told her they were bad words and she had to tell mummy/daddy he/she was very naughty. She loved the role reversal and as a result never said it herself. Now she has some music with a couple of bad words in it but our understanding is if she wants to listen to the music she is never to utter those words if I hear those words the music will be confiscated FOREVER. And so far so good

  13. #13
    blythestrinkets Guest

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    If your son is responsive to discussions and having a little chat, try something that has worked for me on a number of occasions.

    I get down on the floor and we have a little chat about rude words. That being able to say them is a priviledge. That there are times when you can say them and times when you can't.

    I mean if they know them, then they've obviously heard them, and I have found it's better to acknowledge it and try to move on. Even though your son is only 2.5 they are well able to use the information you're going to give them.

    I have found that giving them permission to use the word(s) in certain circumstances, and the information that some people just don't want to hear it or may get upset or angry and hearing them makes them feel as though they have some power and makes them feel as though they have a choice to make.

    I usually use a variation (depending on the child) of "you can say it but not at someone - eg: F&*k that hurt, rather than You're a f*&k head etc", "you can only say it when you are alone or with me (or whatever works)", "no swearing in front of old people, doctors, the lady at the shops, your parents (whomever). Whatever works for you.

    I am a family day care provider and have used this approach with a wide variety of kids at various ages and stages and to be honest it's worked almost every time. Once they are entrusted with this power they want to look after it. Especially if there is an element of "I don't want to be cross with you, but if you can't be responsible with the word(s) then we will have to work out what to do next." and mostly the swearing evaporates.

    I know this might seem controversial or even wierd but what else can you do? Most kids are going to go through this phase and if they start to think it's funny or see that it pushes your buttons then they're going to use it to get a laugh, to drive you nuts or to mess with you - better to be realistic and surprise them with your honesty and "realism" about the situation.

    IMHO of course!

  14. #14

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    I just ignore it.. If my kids say it I either ignore most of the time or I turn around and say thats not nice and you know that

    It is quite hard at the age your son is at though.. I personally would pretend he didn't say it at all as he will keep doing it for as long as he gets attention

  15. #15

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    DD couldn't say truck for a long time and would say "f*&K" for truck which was hilarious the day she said "look mummy, silly f*$K" - I almost had an accident and just kept saying "yes silly truck" while wiping the tears from my eyes.

    We went a similar route to Cai in that if DD repeated something that was said that she shouldn't have heard (like when I yelled at the dog, "Benny you little Bug**r") I would say oh yes he's a bitof butter or something like that. She soon forgot the word.

    I don't think this will last once she gets to primary school though!

  16. #16

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    DS said the F word once, but only because I had said it very loud and clear when I was running late for work and couldn't find my wallet...i didn't realise he was there. I didn't aknowledge he said anything just gave DP a knowing look and went about what I was doing, DS has never said it since. He has said bugger a few times after hearing me too, thats not so bad but same thing, I just don't react to it and he won't say it again (unless he hears me). Sounds like your DS knows what he is saying, rather than just copying...not sure what else you could try...a swear jar??? He might be a bit young for that LOL.

  17. #17
    paradise lost Guest

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    I don't react. She says it because i said it, so i can't really tell her off. I never swear at or about people though, only general swearing (as above in the "f8ck that hurt!" example).

    The other week DD was examining the callous of hard skin on my thumb from where my teeth rest against the skin when i suck my thumb (yes, i still thumb-suck, at 27, no i do not have crooked teeth, no i did not have braces or any other orthodontic work done). She was asking to hear "callous" again and again. Then we went to the shop and she annouonced "mama bit the phallus" at the top of her lungs....sometimes i WISH swearing was the problem! LOL

    Bx

  18. #18
    kirsty_lee Guest

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    I am just having a quick read of this thread this morning over my cup of coffee. Although dd isn't near the age of talking proper words/sentences, I find these types of threads really interesting, cause it can give me tips/advice to maybe help avoid these sort of things. Being prepared better equips you right? lol. My only question is, and I hope this doesnt sounds stupid lol. When you 'let things go' such as swearing and not making a big deal, what happens if it completely back fires on you and they continue to say it anyway, and then they go to somehwere like Kindy and say it there too? God, I would be absolutely mortified if something like the F word came out of ava's mouth, which they then used in front of other children, who in turned used it themselves.. kwim?

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