Also, I don't want my kids to grow up feeling that if they have a problem, they are going to be ignored and frustration is unacceptable - tantrums aren't a child's way of ****ing you off, but a way of them trying to communicate their frustration, boredom, tiredness, hunger or thirst.
I am SO with you there, Kelly.
I can only speak from experience as a teacher (haven't been through it as a Mum yet). At school last year, we started a program called "Seeing Red" and it was all about helping children to deal with emotions in a constuctive and positive manner. We discussed with the children how emotions like anger and frustration are normal - it's what you do with those emotions that count. In particular, it really helped one of my little boys that was prone to exploding if he felt he wasn't being listened to. And it certainly helped me to approach things a little differently if and when he exploded.

There's a real difference between catering to a tantrum and finding out what the underlying problem is. If you are firm from the beginning (no means no), then tantrums "just to get what they want" would be few and far between. I know that when my Mum said "No", she meant it so there was no point in fighting her.

Gabby has started chucking tantrums too. At the ripe old age of 7 months, she would absolutely crack it if I took something off her (like a piece of paper) that I didn't want her to have. So far, all I have to do is get her attention with something else. If that doesn't work, I know she is tired so it's off to bed! Sometimes I find it hard not to laugh tho. She will throw her head back and howl and, if she's in the high-chair, she'll hit her head on the back of the chair which makes her cry more.... then she's throw her head back again!! LOL Silly billy! If that happens, I just have to scoop her up and cuddle her - what else can you do?? Oh she's a dag!