I just wanted to add froofy that my post wasn't an attack on your parenting or you as a person, but my own response to a comment made, nothing sinister intended - I don't like to cause arguments for the sake of being a right or wrong answer, because there is none. Obviously it doesn't help things that you have some deeper issues in your own childhood, as to why you parent the way you do, so I can see how offence could be taken if you felt you were being anything but gentle to your children. Isn't it amazing that our childhood has such an effect on how we parent our own children, and what we remember?

That is why I have added guidelines on the gentle parenting forums in each gentle parenting forum. I intend to keep this as gentle as possible in here, in order to make the gentle parenting forums valid. What people interpret as gentle parenting varies - some people will say they have had a natural birth yet had forceps or an epidural, but because it was a vaginal birth, it was natural. That is their interpretation. Some people will think they are gentle parenting for the simple reason that they love their child more than anything in the world (of course we all do!), and that's gentle to them. So what we interpret as being under these 'labels' varies.

I have noticed that whenever I seem to post a gentle topic or reply, you are often not in agreeance with me, that is fine, we both have our own views and we both are mature adults who can discuss them. You are always welcome to post in the general baby and toddler discussion with whatever issues and get varied responses, but these gentle parenting forums are for those who want support and responses for gentle parenting - it's going to get a different response in here than other forums for those who want a gentle opinion. To me, what I often think is when doing something to a child, would we like it for ourselves? So when I see, ignore a frustrated child, I see, would I like to be ignored if I were frustrated? What happens when I am frustrated and being ignored? Do I learn it doesn't work to be frustrated? No because I still get frustrated to this day as an adult! So why put our kids through that? And then, would I be happy if she treated me like that? 'Mummy I don't like how you are treating me / talking to me / acting so I will ignore you.' They pick this stuff up and learn how to treat others by how we treat them. As I have mentioned many a time, whenever I am sick, crying, etc. Marisa is a FAR better comforter than John and uses the loving phrases that I do, strokes my hair, kisses me, tells me it will be okay. So if instead she thought I was seeking attention and ignored me, that would make me very sad.

I feel in the majority of support mediums that my choices as a parent aren't supported, hence I started these gentle parenting forums. Sadly, I have even posted on BellyBelly in the past and felt my ideas were challenged (and they still are!) - some people will still post and say that no, routines are best, this is better, that is better - so I created a place where I can talk to those on the same wavelength as myself. I never attack anyones parenting style, but like those who control cry and are sick of those telling them it's not right, I too am frustrated that I don't have a place to express my gentle parenting views and others tell me it isn't right.