Its so hard to watch isn't it? We find it hard atm with Matilda not listening to a word we say or being directly defient (meaning she knows something is wrong like touching a power source but she will look at us and laugh as she touches it, and then tantrums when we pull her away) we usually give her the chance of removing herself from the situation, then we let her know if she won't then we will have too. And if she goes back then we will need to have some time away and after 1 minute she can play with her toys again... Sometimes I must admit if after our 3rd go she does it again DH gets louder and louder and I get upset at him for it. He doesn't mean too, and doesn't even notice but I am often saying "its not that she has a hearing problem my love, its that she is choosing not to listen atm..."

Sorry to get off the subject, but I agree...I hate hearing parents talk down to their children and spit at them or yell orders to them as though they are dogs. I would like to think that we give Matilda 3 chances to obey before we start getting cranky....