we have a nice sturdy house, and candles out all the time (DD loves the holders on the wall) - because it's a common thing here, the kids don't see it as something to play with kwim? the holders for the table will take tealights, which wouldn't move with shaking of a house - and the pillars will be in holders too heavy to be knocked over easily. i don't use taper candles - they are unstable and messy! give me a chunky candle (some of my candles weight a couple of kilos!) or a votive/tealight in a holder and i'm a happy girl