Then change the expectation. That's a perception.

Every mothers day my kids hug me, the bring me the things they made at school. My husband will make me breakfast in bed we normally all stay in bed and snuggle for a bit. I'm not expecting Gifts a plenty... I'm not expecting anything. Affection and appreciation is all I expect. And TBH if I didn't get that well then I wouldn't be with my husband. My point is, if it's not important to you it shouldn't matter what others do. If it is important to you and you do not get the holiday you
think you deserve then that is up to you to sort out with your partner and your children.

It's only a hallmark holiday if you make it one.

And for some it's a reminder of what they don't have.
I actually agree with you! Except I expect affection and appreciation every day.